Amnesty and Immigration: Why common sense should lead the way.

As a Christian, I am the first person to want to help someone in need. I fully embrace charity and sacrifice as part of my mission of embracing Christ in others. My first inclination with the immigration debate that is going on was to say that it was not charitable or hospitable to deny people entry and a good life in our country, especially because our country really has no national ethnicity. This is not to say we do not have original ethnic groups, American Indians, but this is different because our society, culture, and government are not original to these groups. However, as I began to think about the issue of immigration and the other issues surrounding it, namely amnesty for illegal aliens, I felt that my charity was misplaced.

For a variety of socio-economic reasons we have illegal aliens in our country in probably almost every larger community in our country. Laborers are hired from Mexico to fill many jobs in farming, construction, landscaping, housekeeping, and other jobs in related fields. These people are often prospected by American employers looking for cheep labor. A portion of illegal aliens in our country make the entry into the country by themselves. None of this is unfamiliar to us, but these are the facts.

When you consider that most illegal aliens are regular people who come to our country to work and make a life for themselves, you feel a sense charity to help them because Americans want everyone who works to succeed. This is one of our few common values, a strong work ethic. Nearly everyone in our country is here in our country today because of this value. However, speaking of values, there are other values that Americans also embrace, values that define freedom, justice, fairness, and individualism. Justice or fairness is really the value that freedom rests upon. Equal opportunity gives the individual the power to accomplish what he or she wants. However, in order to provide equal opportunity fairly or equally, we have to have laws and due process.

Legal immigration is not an easy process, and in fact, it costs a lot of money. This would be the barrier to immigrating to our country, aside from the bureaucracy of legal entry. However, thousands of people legally immigrate to our country every year. They go through the process of legal immigration because they respect our country and our laws. Respect for our laws should be the first consideration by prospective immigrants and other parties of interest when seeking entry to the U. S. I was quite perplexed by the fact that many employers in various professions break the law to bring aliens into our country. The fact of the matter is that when employers do hire illegal aliens for jobs they pay these people much less than a U. S. citizen would make doing the very same job. This has the effect of “cheapening” our labor and actually making the job market and the economy worse. This hurts U. S. employers who are playing by the rules. The other side of the cost issue is that by immigrating illegally many folks have no choice but to use our public services, such as schools, medical care, and a variety of public assistance programs. This unexpected use on our system is an unexpected strain on these vital services, services we pay for.

I began this article saying that our charity as Christians is misplaced when we want to provide amnesty to illegal aliens. This is because we have other options to prevent people from entering our country illegally in the first place. We have the ability to make legal immigration easier, but still economically and socially responsible. We can provide a grant or scholarship to qualified individuals to enter our country to assist those with low income. We can also be more charitable to those groups of people in other countries who are coming to our country to find work. We have the ability to responsibly channel resources and education so that people, who might otherwise look to migrant work, are able to work in their own communities. We must consider that there are also adverse effects on these communities in other countries for allowing one of their most valuable assets, their people, an easy opportunity to leave.

The other pressing concern that should concern everyone in our country is that if it is so easy for an estimated 12 million illegal alien to enter our country, it is extremely easy for other groups, such as terrorists, to enter our communities as well. In our post 9/11 age, security of our country has a new priority and it means that we have to screen those entering and leaving our country much closer. This is simply a fact of life and cannot be avoided. We have a duty to follow the laws that we have set to ensure the safety of all Americans.

The challenge that we face is what to do with the illegal aliens that we already have in our country? While deportation seems logical, we must consider at what cost, how fair, and how practical it would be to begin deportations of the illegal immigrant populations. The first actions that should be taken nationwide are stiff penalties and accountability for U. S. employers. We have to make it a grave harm to their business to hire an illegal alien such that they will put in place effective programs to screen their workers and take responsibility for an issue that they helped create. Every business is replaceable by one that will comply with the law. It is much better for the consumer to pay higher prices for work performed by legal labor than pay an increased tax rate to fix illegal labor problems. Employers who use have utilized illegal labor should have to pay a penalty for engaging in illegal behavior.

To use some common sense, it does not seem practical to deport millions of people. However, to be fair, there should be a system to register these people, provide them with education on what procedures need to be followed to stay in the country, and assess what penalty they should pay to be able to stay. These folks are here illegally and there should be a punishment that fits the crime. I think it should be considered that illegal aliens who are naturalized into the country should pay a higher income tax rate for a specified period of time. I also think there should be an additional one time fine. They should also be listed on a public watch list for national security purposes as they were not legally screened for entry into the country. These folks should also be required at their cost to pay for any compliance to national heath standards that are necessary, i.e. vaccinations. There should be a deadline that these folks have to meet to get all of these things done. If these folks decide they do not want to pay a higher tax rate, a one time fine, and compliance with any other applicable laws on their own, they should be granted without penalty a grace period in which they would be able to return to their country. This proposed solution is both fair to the immigrants who are here illegally, U. S. citizens, and those who have immigrated legally.

By giving illegal aliens an option to make good with the law we are giving them opportunity. This opportunity is much better than simply granting them amnesty. The other side of this situation is that if they are in violation of immigration law they can be deported. The laws are in place for many good and valid reasons including national security, economic, public health, and equal opportunity. By granting amnesty to any illegal alien we cheapen the work that legal immigrants put into becoming citizens of our country. I believe in fairness and equal opportunity, but equal opportunity has to go both ways.

Back to School

I’m not thrilled about Monday. Monday I start the second last class of my college career. I have yet to finish my bachelor’s degree in Political Science. This is a burden that I have carried with me for quite some time. It’s an issue that I have been working towards addressing since I left. It’s only a 4 week accelerated course. It really shouldn’t seem like a big deal, especially because I’m been working so hard at the flower shop anyhow, but I’m really nervous about the whole thing. I haven’t taken a course in a long time. I’ve had quite a bit of training, that’s true, but this is a very different endeavor from that. I feel like I’m trying to force myself to go into this with a positive attitude so that I’m able to really do well in this class. It would be very nice after all to actually do well. However, like clockwork I have a pit of dread in my stomach. I feel despondent. I’m not happy. The “why” for these feeling is no longer important to me. I don’t even care anymore about how I used to feel about certain things. I just want them to go away. And like a double-edged sword, these feelings will not leave me until I’m done. I’m left with these feelings, while putting on a bright exterior. I suppose only two months of it will not be too much to endure.

Spring Frenzy

“Spring Frenzy,” by the looks of the weather, is about to hit our area. Every year when the weather finally warms up everyone starts coming outside, working in their gardens, cleaning, and just in general, going, going, going. This Northern Midwest phenomenon occurs for one primary reason. Winter is long, cold, dark, grey, snowy, and limiting for many. The seasons have a huge effect on most Wisconsinites and the biggest one is winter. We stay inside more, drive less, and most people are probably a little more irritable. I know I don’t have the best of days when I have to shovel my driveway everyday for a couple weeks. I feel like in winter, I spend most of the time “hibernating.”

I bring this entire topic up because today is the first really warm and sunny day we’ve had in a long time. I saw number people in shorts out today, including Jerad, and even one pasty white guy topless in his convertible. Yes, it is a bright day in Wisconsin. While the sunshine lifts our spirits, the realization that we probably only have 4 months of it at the most is what drives us into Spring Frenzy 2007.

Spring Frenzy is probably not experienced by some other states. I suppose that is why our state has so many Florida and Arizona snow birds. I’m not sure I would know what to do with myself if I could live in my natural environment all year long in relative comfort. I’d certainly hope I’d have a tan year round. I like to think that I would exercise and play more sports. I know for sure that I’d have my morning tea or coffee in the garden much more often. I don’t wonder if having those 4 warm months for most of the year would not be as special. I’m sure I’d long to see a snow flake before long. Christmas would certainly not be as special without a snowfall; then again we do not always have that. So I guess I’m glad to live in Wisconsin where we change it up a lot. It makes life just a little bit more interesting.

Quiet Past the 8th Floor

When Jim died he was taken up to heaven and greeted at the gates by an Angel. The angel told Jim that since he was a Lutheran he would be on the 10Th floor. Jim was surprised but was glad that he would get to see all his fellow Lutherans. The Angel led Jim into the Great Elevator of Heaven. As they ascended, the Angel pointed out that the Baptists were on floor one, Methodists on floor 2, Episcopalians on floor 3, etc. When there were nearing the 8th floor the Angel became very excited and said, "Shhhhh" "You must be very, very quiet and not say anything when we go past the 8th floor." Jim asked why they had to be so quiet. The Angel replied, "Well Jim you have to be quiet when passing the 8th floor because that's where the Catholics are, and they don't think anyone else is up here."

Hitch Hiker

Driving to work today alongside of Hwy 29 was a very uncommon sight in Green Bay. There was an older man with a long salty beard, wearing a long black coat, sticking out his thumb to catch a ride. I felt like stopping, but never actually would. However, this hitch hiker struck some feelings in me. Today is my 25th birthday. And now that I am a quarter of a century old, one begins to evaluate where the years have gone. Coupled with this sentiment is all of the feelings brought out by the passing of Jerad's Grandmother, Ceil.

The hitch hiker reminded me that life is a journey and that we might know where we're going, but often we don't know how we're going to get there. Life's journey is sometimes at a screeching halt, and sometimes we are stuck along side that path with no way to go any place. We have to depend on the help of someone else to get from point A to point B. We move much slower along the road when we have to walk. We consider hitch hiking because it is easy than towing our load all by ourselves.

With one life ending recently in my life, Jerad's Grandma Ceil, and another, mine, still just beginning, I feel like I'm trapped in a time bubble. I feel directionless. There are so many things in life that I have set out to accomplish and in many ways already have. I think that this is the most devastating thing. I feel like I have nothing to work towards. I just do not have the ambition to move forward with personal goals anymore. I think that a lot of this stems from the fact that I am now in a "long term" committed relationship.

It's complicated when you have a companion on the journey, and a whole lot of drama if you end up towing a caravan behing you like many of us do. Jerad has opened up avenues in my life that I did not think were possible at the level we have them at our age. Honestly, the last thing I expected at the age of 25 was to be a homeowner. I just didn't think that I would be doing that at this time. I have without even knowing it, resolved to be happy. I have taken on so many responsibilites for things that I never used to care about at all. I have a daily grind. We have a dog. Dog spelled backwords is God.

I don't really know anything else.

Have a great year and I hope you catch a free ride.

LastManOut

"There is no better time than right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So work like you don't need money.
Love like you've never been hurt, and, Dance like no one's watching. "
- Some really wise person

Don't Kick Out The Liberals, Join the Roman Catholics

Once again in our times we have disturbing news. Today ripping through the other headlines is the disturbing news that the Anglican Communion is giving the "liberal" branch of the U. S. Episcopal Church an ultimatum. This week at their conference the Anglican Communion rebuked the Episcopal Church in the U.S. over the blessing of gay partners and ordaining gay clergy, such as Bishop Gene Robinson. They said stop, or face a reduced role in the church.

Before I go all blogger crazy on these people's asses, let me give you some personal back ground information. I am a gay man who attends mass weekly in the Episcopal Church. I have not been formally "received" into the church, however, I consider myself an Episcopalian. What does it mean to me to be an Episcopalian? I was raised a Roman Catholic and even attended a "minor" seminary in high school. I know a lot about the Catholic Church, their politics, and their belief structure. The Anglican Church is what I consider in many cases to be "Catholic without the Pope." The Roman and Episcopal liturgies are strikingly similar, they both have the same sets of clergy, and the belief structure is in the important areas totally compatible. So why might you ask are they two different churches? Gays, Women's role, Authority and Primacy Issues, Power, Money, Mary's role, Birth Control, Sex, etc. These are the issues that set any church apart from the Roman Catholics. Why would any church want to take a step in the direction of excluding a group of people from their church? Today's questions is: Why gay people?

My question to all of these "religious" people is, why do you have to pick on the gays? Why can't you bless us, accept us, pray with us, love us, and ordain us? Why do you have to make it "us" versus them? It even begs the question why gay people even want to be a part of your church when your leaders and members continually blast us and separate us and make us feel unwelcome? Come down off your high and mighty pulpit, swallow your pride, and get to know a gay person. The reason why they won't do that is because, when they do, they will find two people who love each other for no other reason than because they just do. Then they will have to confront their bigotry, hatred, and injustice. The so called "conservatives" just won't do that.

Homosexuality cannot be entirely explained and doesn't get a good wrap in the Bible because the Bible was written by heterosexual males over 2000 years ago, when reproducing was essential to a races survival. With all the people that the Bible supposedly excludes from any position of status like women, people of other religions and races, gay people, sinners of every other variety, etc, one has to wonder why anyone believes any of it at all? So the Anglican Communion would rather say, stop embracing gay people or we'll cut you out. Well cut me out then, I'll just continue to worship God and continue to pray that one day the "conservatives" will come to an understanding of the pain and injustice they have inflicted on gay people.

What I will do is speak out against these people. I will not tolerate their ultimatum. I will not worship in a church that censures an arm of it for welcoming all people, blessing them, and including them. I will not worship in a church that will not stand up for me as a gay person. I stand for inclusion and the truth. The truth is I'm a gay Christian. I have every right to worship and be recognized for who I am. My partner and I also have the right to be recognized as married because we are. We love each other, care for each other, and provide for each other in whatever circumstance we happen to be in. That is the meaning of commitment. Obviously the Episcopal church has a few things to learn about commitment to its gay and lesbian brothers and sisters.

So again I ask, what does it mean to be an Episcopalian in 2007? Why did I leave the Catholic Church? Why have I put forth so much effort? People are going to leave this church over this. People are going to fall away from Christ and his message of peace and love. One way or another, what ever the outcome, the Episcopal church is setting a date with empty pews and dwindling attendance, just like their Roman Catholic brothers and sisters. So you have to ask, what's the difference anymore?

LastManOut

Relevant News Links

Many Episcopalians Wary, Some Defiant After Ultimatum by Anglicans

Same-sex edict worries Bay Area Episcopalians

My Joy

I have been writing a mass setting and my original inspiration for doing so was to write music for liturgy that is joyful. For me personally, the meaning of an expression of joy is critical because I want joy with sincerity. The first hurdle I faced was finding a musical pallet that had depth, but not darkness. It was also a great consideration to make sure the music was joyful versus happy. Happiness alone is a shallow representation of joy in Heaven, or the Love of God. This is aptly illustrated by the definitions of joy as found in the Merriam Webster Dictionary, “1a: the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires: DELIGHT b: the expression or exhibition of such emotion: GAIETY. 2: a state of happiness or felicity: BLISS. 3: a source or cause of delight.”

The first definition connotes a secular happiness resulting from personal success, luck, and often material pleasures. None of these things are expressly bad, yet they are not necessarily “joy in heaven.” Definition number three is much closer to what I want my music to accomplish, “a source or cause of delight.” Something that has the ability to cause or be the source of joy is much more powerful than that which we commonly know, for my music, such a thing is the delight of God’s love and the source of goodness in our lives as Christians. This source of joy is what needs to be communicated in the music that is written, so that, the person singing or listening to it feels this source of Joy and is uplifted in the expression of joy during the worship service.

The goal for this musical composition is to great a “Total Worship Experience.” I am about mid-way through the project. My concept is to write really more than just the individual mass parts but accompany them with additional music for opening, closing, and communion. I was inspired to take on this project because it was always a terrible disappointment to me as a musician to find the same lifeless music played week after week for service. Our lives as a matter of principle should be led with joy, led with recognition of the love that we share with Christ. Our music should reflect that as well. I look forward to working on this project every moment that I get, my mass of Joy.

Edwards, Donohue, Marcotte, and McEwen

My partner's Grandma is prone to saying, "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the pot." You get this vision of angry red purplie monsters running around in steamy boiling water. I imagine it's something like hell. On that note I say, "Welcome to Politics. "

John Edwards is running for the Democratic Presidential nomination. He has shifted his platform from a middle road self made worker's man in 2004 to Über Liberal, I'm the next Howard Dean. Apparently, the conservative right has some issues with his new friends. Notably in the news is his hiring of two bloggers Amanda Marcotte and Melissa McEwen. Marcotte and McEwen are going to be coordinating Edwards' campaign blog and outreach to the blog community. So with super bloggers on his side Edward's probably thought he was off to a great start.

Da, Da, Don.........Just when Edwards' brilliant scheme to bring liberalism to all America was underway, Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League was outraged that a fine man like Edwards could hire two "foul-mouthed, anti-Catholic bigots." Donohue is demanding that Edwards fire these staffers for the remarks they have made about the Catholic Church and Its teachings on Marcottte and McEwen's personal blogs.

So you ask, other than the sensationalism of it all, why is this important? This is going to set the tone for Edwards with a segment of the Catholic Church. The alienation of middle America is about to begin. I think this is the begining of Edwards not getting the Democratic nomination because Edwards is going to get type cast as a rich lawyer Liberal. I do realize how petty it really is that Donohue is picking on Edwards because of what a couple pundits do on their own time. However, Edwards has done something truly remarkable for a politician in our day and age. He has actually not fired Marcotte and McEwen. I applaud this. This means that Edwards is really serious about digging in to capture the heart and soul of the Democratic party, the very liberal left.

The other thing about this story is more personal. Many people maintain blogs to publish their own ideas and opinion. These blogs are of a personal nature. Just because something can be accessed by everyone, does not mean that it is no longer of a personal nature. Whatever these two ladies have expressed in their own publications should have absolutely no bearing on their employment. Tolerance is obviously something that Bill Donohue is still working on. Strange that he is so demanding of it for his Church.

LastManOut

I had the ability to look up information on this topic, which stragely was not all published together in the original article.

The original news ariticle: Yahoo News
The Catholic League: http://www.catholicleague.org/
Amanda Marcotte's Blog: http://pandagon.net/
Melissa McEwen: http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/
John Edwards: http://johnedwards.com/

Why America Rocks!

One of the beautiful things about our country that we often take for granted is our freedom of speech. Freedom of speech is not absolute, but most types of speech are protected by the Constitution. Speech that is political in nature is especially protected. Even beyond “protection” by the Constitution, political and religious speech in our country is by most people respected to the point that a regular discourse does not incite a riot, murder, or terrorism.

I bring up freedom of speech because of a recent article published by the AP, Some Lebanese eye ban on political talk, By ZEINA KARAM, Associated Press Writer. The article discusses how shop owners and other public businesses are placing signs in their windows asking people not to discuss politics or religion inside. In America today, the very act of placing that sign would probably be upheld by our courts as infringing on your right to speech. The idea of banning speech has gained momentum because of “street violence” erupting from political and religious speech. Well, I guess street violence is just one of those annoying little habits the Lebanese are going to have to break, sort of reminds me of the smoking bans in the Fox Valley.

Here’s where I really take issue. The whole thing seems patently idiotic because tolerance is not taught through bans on speech, tolerance happens when dialog takes place. Some professor in the article (I won’t mention his name) thinks the signs are a good way to “avoid emotional reactions.” I feel like the people giving advice in this situation are playing the “let’s not talk about it” white Anglo-Saxon Protestant (WASP) card. The WASP card is not going to work. If these people start to suppress their feelings they are only going to blow up like a failed marriage or student groups in the 1960’s. What they really need to learn as a society is tolerance.

What is tolerance? Tolerance is shutting up your damn mouth when some crazy guy sitting next to you in a coffee shop is venting about so and so political leader. Tolerance is staying home and spending time with your family versus shooting your neighbor between bakeries and delicatessens. I can’t even imagine the audacity of some crazy dude interrupting my breakfast because he has a problem with the world, let alone a whole fricken town of them. Listen Lebanon, if you want to make your country better, do something productive like offer government subsidies for people to go to school for psychotherapy and for people who need treatment. I’m guessing your country needs a whole troop of shrinks.

The point is simple. Treat others as you would like to be treated. The “golden rule” is equally subscribed to by most all major religions in one way or another. It is positively screwed up to bomb your neighbor. I hope Lebanon enjoys me exercising my Freedom of Speech, mostly because I don’t ever plan to do anything more than write about it on my blog.

Peace be with you,

LastManOut

You can read this article for a limited time at:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070206/ap_on_re_mi_ea/lebanon_no_politics_please

Birth Control Joke

Why did the 90 year old lady go on birth control pills? - Because she didn't want to have any more grandchildren.

Election 2008

The temperature in the political climate right now is red hot over who will be running for President in 2008. Here is a rough list of the interested parties and people who could be nominated, these have all filed with the FEC (Federal Election Commission):

Democrats:
Sen. Hilary Clinton - http://www.hillaryclinton.com/
John Edwards - http://johnedwards.com/
Joseph Biden - http://www.joebiden.com/home
Mike Gravel - http://www.gravel2008.us/
Dennis Kucinich - http://kucinich.us/
Barack Obama - http://www.barackobama.com/
Bill Richardson - http://billrichardsonforpresident.com/
Thomas Vilsack - http://www.tomvilsack08.com/

Republicans:
Sen. John McCain - http://www.exploremccain.com/
Rudy Giuliani, former New York City Mayor - http://www.joinrudy2008.com/
Gov. Mitt Romney, former Massachusetts Governor - http://www.mittromney.com/
Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee - http://www.governor.arkansas.gov/
Duncan Hunter - http://www.gohunter08.com/
Tom Tancredo - http://tancredo.house.gov/
Tommy Thompson - http://www.tommy2008.com/

Other:
Christopher J. Dodd - http://www.chrisdodd.com/home
James Gilmore III - No website found at this time.

It is definitely worth your time to do your homework on these candidates. The 2008 election issues are going to be heavily weighed down with Iraq and military spending as you might have guessed. Also look for domestic agendas that spend a lot of time on health care, jobs, and immigration. This is really a very interesting and competitive race. As of right now, there is no one running from the Bush Administration. (Well look at his approval rating, I wouldn't run if I work for Bush either.) I know I'll be compiling my list of who I think might end up winning the primaries. Though, it is still too early to tell. Other candidates could still emerge. Hope you enjoy this resource!

Yours Truly,

LastManOut

More Lily Photo's

Lily didn't fit in her Pet Taxi for very long, we discovered her last week on her back, feet in the air, trying to bust out. :) LOL

























Lily with Mary's Puppy Marle, Lily and Marle are very good pals.


























Lily loves to play in the park!
























You've never seen a more adorable puppy!


Lily is 20 weeks old this week and survived her spay on Tuesday rather well. She's more full of energy than ever and starts puppy school in about two weeks.

Laugh For Today

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Golf Humor

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.

"I'm on the 7th hole," she replied, "and you are a hole behind me. So you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his play.

On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached her again with the same request. "I'm on number 14, and you're still a hole behind, so you must be on the 13th hole." Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.

He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a saleslady and played the course often. He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you're in the sales profession. I'm in sales also. "What do you sell?"

"I'll tell you, but you're going to laugh," she replied.

"No, I won't."

"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."

With that, he laughed so hard he almost fell off the bar stool.

"See," she said. "I knew you'd laugh!"

"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied, "I'm a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you."

A Cracked Pot

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and lways delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house." The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?" "That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

Packers vs. Bears

One foggy night, a Green Bay Packers fan was heading south from Green Bay and a Chicago Bears fan was driving north from Chicago. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head on, mangling both cars. The packers fan managed to climb out of his car and survey the damage.He looked at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!" Likewise, the Bears fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Bears fan walks over to the Packers fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals." The Packers fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Packers fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Bears fan, "I think this is another sign-we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Bears fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half the bottle, the Bears fan hands it back to the Packers fan and says, "Your turn."

The Packers fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, Throws the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

New Puppy Photos!

This is our new addition Lily Rose Steger-Karcz.

Jerad, Josh, and Lily

Lily and her Dad Cody

Lily and "Grandpa" Brian.

Lily seen here stealing her dad's favorite toy!

Lily playing with Dad.

More about Lily: She is a Golden Retriver, 18 weeks old, over 20 lbs, and she loves to cuddle! More to come about Lily soon!

Chocolate chip cookie Recipe

Ingredients:

1 stick of butter
½ cup Crisco (I like butter flavored Crisco.)
¾ cup sugar
¾ cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
2¼ cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1½ cups oatmeal (do not use instant)
1 cup chopped nuts (walnuts preferred)
1 11oz bag of chocolate chips

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350 F

In a large mixing bowl or your standing mixer, cream together butter, Crisco, sugar, and brown sugar. While mixing, add eggs and vanilla to the mixture. Add flour, baking soda, and salt in increments and mix until blended through. Mix in oatmeal, nuts, and chocolate chips by hand or with rubber spatula.

Lightly grease your cookie sheet if necessary, non stick sheets are preferred. Roll dough into palm sized balls and flatten ball into a patty on cookie sheet. Do not over flatten ball. Bake at 350 for about 10 minutes or until bottom of cookie is golden brown.

Let cookies cool on a raised rack. Yield = approximately 5 dozen cookies. This cookie is sure to please.

This recipe is from my Mother, Jane.

Crazyness

Work lately has been really crazy. As some of you may know I work in customer service for Medicare Part D plans. I'm always amazed by the variety of people that I talk to on a daily basis as compared to any other job I've had. There is truly a random diversity of people that call in because everyone 65 and over qualifies for medicare. In a lot of cases the calls that I get are from their family members, pharmacists, and health providers, which adds in another mix of diversity. Not everyone that calls me is even old, a lot of people who have medicare are young and disabled.

Well as all of those who are impacted by Part D know, we just ended the annual enrollment period on Dec 31st. As a result, many people are now calling us for their member materials and also many many others for pharmacy information because we had to go and change some of the information on their cards for 2007. All of this is what keeps me employed, so I'm really not complaining about my job at all. In fact, I love my job no matter what the problem for so many reasons. First off, my job is relatively easy compared to my last job. In fact, the really nice thing is that my job is almost completely paperless. Generally the people that I help are quite polite and appreciate the work that I do. I did not expect that people would be so nice on the phone when I took this job. Though, I have a feeling that when my generation has to deal with medicare, they probably won't be as patient as their Grandparents are.

The last couple weeks have been an exception to the usual happy Retirees that I usually work with. There have been many frustrated persons, one calling right after the other, who have let me know where we can stick it. In fact, a good chunk of the people calling are very angry over service issues that are ordinarily routine fixes. Why is everyone frustrated this time of year?? It all stems from the fact that these folks who are generally older would much rather be doing something else than trying to fill a prescription. They are also frustrated by the limited coverage in some cases by Part D plans and the very bad service of some carriers. They have also had to wait on hold every place they called just to get an answer to a simple question. For those who are really unfortunate they have had to try to work out an enrollment issue with Medicare. When ever dealing with a Medicare drug plan, contacting Medicare themselves is the last ditch effort. No one wants to call Medicare or Social Security.

The Medicare/SSA phobia is well founded. All of the things that really go wrong for part D participants seem to stem from Medicare and Social Security. In fact, generally, the things that work best with the Part D program are those things that are handled by the private insurance companies that underwrite the policies. Case in point, (not to brag) but I know for certain that we provide our members with much better customer service than Medicare and SSA does. I remember having to call SSA as a banker to people's direct deposit switched with them. The turn around time was always like 2-3 months. I have learned in my new job that SSA's turn around time is like always 2-3 months. If it happens sooner, it is purely by the grace of God.

So with all the problems that surround our members this time of year, it's no wonder they're a little cranky/crazy. I would be too. The most satisfying thing is being able to help these people. And they deserve it too, it's amazing what these people have accomplished in their life. They deserve the absolute best. And sadly, as so many of our members have very humbly related to me, many of them have received the absolute worst with respect to their senior benefits. I know that our country can do these people one better. I plan to do my part for them one person at a time.

Happy Weekend,

LastManOut

Happy New Year

I meant to get this out to everyone yesterday, but anyway, Happy New Year to you! I'm very excited for this year. So many wonderful things are planned to happen. Jerad and I will celebrate our 2 year anniversary on Jan 8th. We are celebrating in Chicago this weekend with Holly and Susan. Everyone is excited to go and do some shopping down town. I'm also greatly excited for my birthday in February because I'll be 25 and get a discount on my car insurance. Hehe... The Potting Shed & Design is looking at expanding its business even more, I'm sure those new business endeavors for Jerad and I will also be most exciting.

More seriously though, I am very hopeful this year. I have a very good feeling about its prospects. I have had significant time the past few days to really give a lot of thought to all the blessings I had in 2006 and how wonderful and rich my life is. It still seems like a dream when I consider Jerad's mom going into the hospital, nearly loosing her, and then her very miraculous recover. Also, it seems like so long ago that we were looking at houses, finding ours, and then moving in. I feel like we've always meant to live where we do now. It wasn't so long ago that Jerad bought the huge cargo van for the business. And, It's still a new experience with so many things at my new Job that I got this year. Of all the wonderful changes I have to say the biggest is a profound realization of the role that Jerad plays in my life. He has truly been there for just about everything; I'm so blessed to be with a man like him.

New Year's Resolutions.

I've always disliked making resolutions for the new year because I've always known what I could work on. It seems like the laundry list of items always grows each year, and many items from that basket of laundry keep ending up in the wash. I very much struggle with maintaining a healthy diet, weight, and exercise regimen. This is just one of those areas I'm not very good at. Jerad and I joined the Y last New Year's, and this year we are going to commit to visiting them more often. I'm committing myself this year to figuring out what I'm going to do with my career. I am in a great work place right now, but I know that I can do more. Lastly, I plan to tidy up a lot of loose ends. I have way to many outstanding craft projects and I would really like to learn certain pieces of music.

New Year's is in my opinion one of the best times to evaluate how things are going in your life. I suppose this is the root of the "New Year's Resolution." I hope that all reading this truly have a wonderful and fruitful new year. Best of Luck in accomplishing your New Year's Resolutions too.

Busy X-Mas Schedule

It didn't really hit me that it was Christmas until at noon today when I was on my way to work I got stuck in the holiday mall/shopping traffic. It took 10 minutes just to get to the off ramp, another 5 to get off the ramp, and then 5 minutes or so to get past the mall. The only other time you see this many cars in Ashwaubenon is for a Packer Game. Weird, they actually won last night. I really don't follow football, It's just that my Grandma woke me up a little early this morning and Grandpa filled me in on the details.

While Jerad and I are technically ready for Christmas, I haven't really felt the Christmas Spirit 100% yet. Partly, it really doesn't look like Christmas outside. Secondly, I usually spend the holiday season working my butt off. Also, I'm usually able to take vacation this time of year to keep up, and this year, I'm stuck at work. Being at work is not overly bad. Secret Santa was especially fun this year; I got spoiled. I think the other part of it is that I haven't been bombarded with the religiosity of Christmas this year so far. I'm sure its coming. I feel like Advent is a little rushed this year, well actually because of the calander it is. I haven't had time to reflect this year on the "meaning of Christmas."

Christmas has meant many different things through the years to me. I'm calling this one, "Normal Christmas." As far as the forecast can tell, this is going to be the most normal Christmas I have had probably since I was 4. Despite a back-to-back line up of events, each of them is a repeat of a previously established tradition. Really, there is nothing new. No new events. Well, our Christmas Celebration a couple weeks ago is new to some, but I've been throwing a Christmas Party since I was in college. So, as I rush to get things done this year for Christmas, it seems a little draining. I'm more tired than anything else.

I do love Christmas though. Last year I had a major Christmas break through because it had been so special. For Jerad and I it really will be hard to top the magic of our first Christmas together. Though it should be equally special to have share our love in our new home as well.

I'm sure Christmas will be wonderful this year, even if I don't completely feel it yet. I hope everyone has a safe and blessed holiday! Give it your best; you just might end up loving Christmas too.

Merry Christmas

LastManOut

When it just doesn’t work and it isn’t going to.

I have written two notable blog entries one titled Relationship Road Blocks and the other Why We Should do Things Different. The first describes how effective communication, self evaluation, and patience can solve many “road blocks” in relationships. The second merely consists of the following phrase: "Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting change, is the very definition of insanity." I am also adding the following phrase, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”

Change is the hardest thing for anyone to do, no matter who you are. You will always cling to the way things are and the past because these are the things you know and you are comfortable with. However, what you currently know and the things that you are comfortable with are so very often HARMFUL to you and others. Therefore, decisive action is needed. If something is harmful to you it is not hard for others around you to notice this. In fact, the people that care about you the most will rightly tell you about it to your face. It would be wise to pay attention as well as accept any assistance they might offer you to solve your problem.

How do you know when you’re in a situation like a relationship, job, friendship, business venture, etc. that is not working and is not going to? Anytime that the same problem keeps repeating multiple times and the proposed resolutions have not been followed, there is direct evidence that change is not going to happen. Furthermore, the current set of events will continue to happen and will continue to be more and more harmful. For example, if your significant other promises to do something, and even after multiple changes does not do it, you have but two realistic options. 1) Accept that change is not possible in the foreseeable future or 2) that you need to extradite your self from the situation and take appropriate recourse. Deciding what you will accept should be something that is a minor and relatively unimportant concession. For example, you may have to live with the fact that someone always arrives late or always leaves the kitchen a mess. These are issues involving character not trust, and as such, are not generally related to a promise that the person has made. However, if a promise has been consistently over and over again, and it is broken, the issue becomes a trust issue.

Trust, as we all know, is very important. If you cannot be trusted, you will be penalized for your actions or lack of action. If you cannot be trusted your spouse will leave you, your boss will fire you, your friends will not call you, and your customers will not come back. Everything we do is built on trust. If you continue to trust someone when all the facts of the matter clearly point to something else, and you do nothing, you will end up hurting yourself and others.

Healing from these injuries relating to mistrust, which could realistically be physical, emotional, and monetary, will take an unforeseen amount of time and resources out of your life, if not cost you your life. You owe it to yourself and everyone who loves you to remove yourself from a situation which is clearly harmful. You can’t do it for the kids, or your current customer’s, or even the money either. If it is harming you, it must stop. You are only lying to yourself if you think otherwise. In the end it will hurt these other people just as much. Time in situations of mistrust, malfeasance, and general wrong doing is of the greatest importance.

Eventually, if you do not take action to change your own life, others will take it for you. There is nothing that is worth loosing your freedom over. If you do not have your freedom, you do not have the ability to make a positive change in your life and the lives of others. People without freedom are slaves to their masters. Believe in yourself and the talents you’ve been given. Make a change today; take a leap of faith. It might be the only thing that can save you. If it just isn’t working, it’s not going to.

Wisconsin vs. California

I had an old lady the other day tell me that the difference between living in California and Wisconsin is that she has never had to shovel sunshine!

World Aids Day

Today Dec. 1st is marked as world Aids day. Most people are aware of the major issues that the Hiv/Aids presents. In rememberance of all the victims of this disease and their family and friends please join me in raising a prayer to these brave people.

Behind every statistic there is face. The estimated 39 million people affected world wide are so many people's mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, and loved ones. Each of these people need our help to lift up their voice, to continue researching a cure, to listen to their needs, and to place Hiv/Aids at the forefront of international discussion. World Aids Day is a time for these needs.

Contribution to fighting Hiv/Aids is often very simple. While monetary donations make vital services such as medical assitance, hospice care, and on-going research possible, solidarity is equally important. You can show your support with a red rippon, volunteering, or sharing your story so that others may better understand.

In support and prayerful rememberance,

LastManOut

Skinny Dipping in Georgia

An older man had owned a large farm in Georgia for many years. The property had a large pond in the back that was properly shaped for swimming. He had fixed it up nice with some picnic tables and umbrellas for shade, and he had planted a sizable peach orchard around the pond, which was bearing prize-winning fruit.

One evening the old farmer took a look at the calendar and calculated that the peaches must be about ready for picking. So he grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit, and started walking down to the pond. As he neared the pond he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee, and as he came closer he saw that it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond.

When the women became aware of his presence they all dived under the water and swam to the deeper end of the pond. Finally, one of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old gentleman answered, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked, or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding up the bucket, he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator!"

Moral: Some older men can still think fast.

This message was an email forward.

Daddy Longlegs

A father watched his five-year-old daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They’re mating," her father replied. "That’s a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered. "So, the other one is Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked. "No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs." The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, daddy, that might be accepted in California and Massachusetts but we’re not having any of that shit in Wisconsin!!

This message was in an email forward.

Post your own art for free!

This website looks really cool and I'm throwing it out here for everyone. It is for students and anyone, I believe, to post a free unlimited amount of original artwork.

http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/stuart/

Enjoy!

LastManOut

Success

"The key to success is for you to make a habit throughout your life of doing things you fear."

-Vincent Van Gogh

christmas in the shade

my Tree
is above me
tiny little branches
this is what photosynthesis made
tiny little ornaments
artificial light bulbs hanging all over
stars remind us and guide us
love is everywhere
my tree
is still alive
like the spirit
soil must be moist
likes shade
can’t kill it till Christmas
don’t think I can ever toss it
to the curb…what savages
who toss their trees of life
lent sucks then we have no trees
i’d rather be stuck below
my tree…than…
please don’t die
YOU mean so much to me

By, Josh Steger

Just wear it….

I at one time owned a bumper sticker that had a black background and a simple white image on it of an unrolled condom that stated, “Just wear it.” I have always been very impressed with that message because it stated very simply and plainly with out confusion exactly what this item is for. It has come to my surprise that there are those people who do not know that using a condom is controversial from a moral standpoint, or banned by the Catholic Church. In all of their sexual morays, the Catholic Church has forbid its followers to use …condoms. Why? It is believed that sexual promiscuity outside of marriage as well as sex for non-reproductive purposes is gravely sinful. That leaves sex for married people who are either trying or open to getting pregnant. That’s it. No sex for anyone else ever.

The Church’s current position on Condom’s excludes them from use by anyone. This black and white, all encompassing, policy could not possibly take into the many situations in which condom use is completely appropriate from a medical and social standpoint. When should you wear a condom? You should wear one whenever you have any doubt about a partner’s STD status, when you are in no place or situation in which you could care for a child, when you simply don’t want to get pregnant, and any other time that you are not trying to get pregnant. It’s really quite simple. The condom lets you enjoy sex and gives you piece of mind. The condom is not fail safe and relies on its user knowing how to wear it properly. When used effectively it can help prevent pregnancy and STD’s. Plus, the use of a condom keeps your partner from being filled with semen, which some people find unpleasant. Wear a condom. As Martha would say, “It’s a good thing.”

So sex for enjoyment purposes is very controversial for Roman Catholics. That is why the Pope has a problem with what gay people do in bed. We enjoy sex. I also resent the statements by the Catholic Church and its clergy that homosexuals are preoccupied with sex. I am not preoccupied with sex nor are most gay people. I am not a nymphomaniac (Nymphomania is technically defined as excessive sexual desire by a female, from nymphae, the inner lips of the vulva, but to be fair, guys are way more guilty than girls in this area.) The difference between the Pope and I is that I have actually have sex and also have a healthy attitude towards it. When you consider the health effects of simply having sex, one wonders why exactly it is not encouraged more. It is widely known that sex is a natural anti-depressant, adds years to your life, and just plain makes you feel better. It’s crazy to think that people should only use it for reproductive purposes. And if you’re going to play the game, very practically, you need the right equipment. The condom should be the first thing you consider.

This article was sparked by an article I recently read and is feature in a link below. The article addresses the topic that the Vatican has recently commissioned a study on condom use. What the study will find we will probably never know because the Church is refusing to release its contents. Why should we be concerned? Well one of the world’s major religious institutions is going to use a private document to possibly make decisions about how to tell people to have sex and they aren’t even going to open it up for discussion. It’s appalling. So, no matter what the Church spouts off on with regard to a piece of rubber, please just remember for your own good, just wear it.

Yours truly,

LastManOut

More information at:
http://news.yahoo.com/

Running out with their tails between their legs!

The political radar lately has picked up on a number of stories regarding what is now known as “the lame duck congress.” For those not educated in civics, when a political body or person such as president lags in their workload essentially accomplishing nothing, this is called “lame duck.” Let me tell you how lame this congress is. The currently Republican controlled Congress has decided to ditch their massive spending bills that they had planned of passing, assuming they had won, which would have spent trillions of money on every pork barrel pet project you could probably dream of. Now that they lost, they are leaving all of the budget issues for Democrats to pass hoping it will slow down their momentum to affect real change.

The number one reason these Republican “Big Spenders” have decided to stave things off is because they did not want their last legacy to be a spending spree. The problem with this is, all they have done for the last 6 six years that G.W. Bush has been President is send in spending bill, after spending bill, each larger than the next. Truly, if there is anything we have learned from recent history, pork barrel spending has no party preference.

So now we have it, in the face of defeat our strong militaristic GOP leaders have decided that they are not even going to spend other people’s money for the last month of office or so. Republicans apathetical attitude towards the public’s outcry for smart spending, scaling down the Iraq war, and really focusing in on health care has been the truth all along. Now, we have direct evidence of this because their behavior surely supports it.

The truth is they are going to leave a legacy of failure, abuse, and in some cases malfeasance. Who will ever forget Tom Delay & Jack Abramoff and all the other members caught up in the campaign finance scandal or the Mark Foley scandal where he had sexually explicit conversations with a minor? Scandal, Failure, and mismanagement are their legacy.

I think it is inconceivable that we could have elected these people to lead our country in the first place.

LastManOut

View more information at:
http://news.yahoo.com/

Loose ends…

Lately, there has been a lot to talk about, but not an abundance to write about. I have all sorts of news and things that have happened, so here’s the latest.

Today was a mile stone in many ways because I finally finished a scarf that I started knitting four years ago. I know I picked up the yarn sometime while I was dating my ex back in 2002. It’s like I have more closure rather than accomplishment. I’ve finally got a few more loose ends tied up and now there is one more thing that is complete. Not only am I finished with this scarf, but it will always have a lot of personal meaning for me because I almost never make anything for myself. I worked on this scarf through so many different times in my life in the recent past. It really is a lot of memories packed into one thing. This scarf has traveled many, many places already just trying to get made, and it has many more to go yet! Oh, and I forgot to mention, it turned out absolutely fabulous, if I do say so myself.

I’ve not gotten a lot done around the house lately because I haven’t really felt like it. Jerad left me a list of things to do while he is gone the next couple days transforming the world into a Christmas wonderland. With Christmas on the horizon and Thanksgiving knocking on the door there are quite a few things that need to take place in a short amount of time, and of coarse, then it’s all over. It think there is a lot of weight to the fact that Christmas really is about the children. It’s pretty inconceivable that we would pick a day to celebrate Jesus’ birthday and invent a bunch of fictional characters if we didn’t intend to use it to brain wash our kids. I mean it’s one really good reason for them to behave themselves all year long; well at least my mother stretched it out that far, hehe. Anyway, I have quite a few projects going for the holidays. I have hand-made gifts to finish, cookies to bake, the annual holiday party to plan, and much, much more!!! I hope everyone has as crazy of a Christmas as I do, because if you don’t you’re just not having fun!

Speaking of Jerad, He has been so dedicated to his job lately. I’m really impressed with him. He’s working like 12 hour days just to keep up with all the interior/exterior holiday decorating that he is doing. I know that he wants all the lights possible on for the day after thanksgiving, positively not later than Dec 1. So we’ve been spending a lot of time together shopping till I drop. He still keeps going like a battery operated Christmas toy from hell!!! Hehe. Hohoho.

I’ll leave you with this wise saying I read on the wall at Jimmy John’s today at lunch: Not everyday is perfect. Some days you’re the pigeon. Some days you’re the statue.

Yours Truly,

LastManOut

Post Election Trauma (PET)

I have PET, Post Election Trauma. I suffer from PET because Mexico City’s legislature just voted to recognize gay civil unions. It is not marriage but still, it affords them more benefits than I am entitled to in Wisconsin. The trauma is that on Nov. 7th Wisconsin voted about 60/40 to ban gay marriage and civil unions in their state constitution. What part of "vote no" did people not understand this last election. Let me sum this up. Mexico, which by some evaluations has been deemed a developing country, is now offering civil union’s in its capitol city. Let’s see that happen in Madison, or even Washington for that matter. It’s a sad day when the people that we don’t want to let into our country have better ruling sense than we do. I apologize to my Mexican friends if any of this seems ungracious, I am very happy for you and I know what a struggle it must have been to reach this point. It’s just that now I have PET!!!

Traumatized,

LastManOut

The corresponding news release referred to in this blog can be reached at: http://news.yahoo.com/

Relationship Road Blocks

What do you do when you hit a stumble along your mutual journey? So many things when not dealt with effectively have the ability to become obstacles in the road before you. Is your journey currently in the express lane or are you on a rocky mountain climb to the top of a never ending mountain? So we ask ourselves, how do we get down from the mountain top onto the highway?

People are often at a loss for practical steps to solving common relationship issues relating to commitment, co-habiting, shared property, children, and romance to include affection, love, and sex. While there are other problem areas, these in my experience have been the most common and often most difficult. The majority of relationship problems listed above are solved by effectively evaluating the communication methods that are being employed. Dissatisfaction is almost entirely the result of miscommunication. We come down off the mountain by asking questions to get the directions. Directions have to be communicated clearly by the other party.

We become better communicators to others by first becoming better listeners ourselves. Good listening techniques include allowing the other person to say what they have to say completely without interrupting, having the ability to repeat what was said, and asking related questions to clarify information. When you have completed this it is appropriate to use an empathetic or acknowledgment statement such as, “I see where you are coming from.” Or “I understand how you feel.” Do not follow this statement with “But or However.” ***Remember*** you want to have a conversation, not an argument.

After we have listened to the other person and helped them communicate their feelings, problems, or issues we then expect the same in return. If they do not ask, volunteer how you feel about the problem but without blaming them or minimizing their issue. Transitioning to a resolution is the next step. Make sure you both have said everything that needs to be said. Emphasize your willingness to work this problem out and your willingness to help. Make sure you continue to validate each other with positive statements. Mutually outline steps for action to correct the problem and then make sure you honor what you have agreed upon. If one person completely falls through on the actions agreed upon then you either need to repeat this process until it works out or you might reconsider your reasons for being in a relationship with the other person. Effective communication takes practice and does not happen overnight or all at once; recognizing this is an important first step to improvement.

Getting down off your mountain and back to civilization can be a long process. However, consider that it took quite a hike to get up their in the first place. Realize that your decisions that you have made through this process have been guiding it to where it is up to this point. If you find yourself walking in circles; doing the same thing over and over again, try a different direction. Break the cycle. If you always do what you’ve always done; you’ll always get what you’ve always got. While it is perhaps the hardest thing to do you need to look inside and determine what effect your actions have had on the situation. Have you been completely honest? Do you have a clear idea of what your needs are? Do you expect the other person to “make you happy?” The path to the highway will probably be covered in brush until you clear it off.

There is also a flip side to all this which is quite different than being on a mountain, or ledge, and that is being stuck in a valley. When you or your partner is seemingly in a state where there is nothing “bad” happening, and yet still not a lot of good happening, you are both stuck in the valley. And instead of climbing off the mountain you have to climb out of the valley to the highland. (Yes, the highway is located on the highland.) The “valley effect” is a common problem for people who have often grown very used to the way things are. They have developed habits that reinforce the same status-quo. Old habits die hard. Again, you have to make a decision about the communication level. Is it enough? Are you talking about important topics? Do you feel like your conversation is always about the same things? The best advice is to try to bring up some new topics of discussion and then employ effective listening and communication techniques.

There are times in which you are going to have to sell the idea in order to get where you need to go. Think of this as setting up a popcorn stand along the path to the highway. You need to attract your customer and make the sale in order to stay in business. This is a great technique/skill to employ when trying to work out logistical issues. I’ll give you “x” if you give me “y.” You have to take the initiative to negotiate your future or you’ll be left behind. Allowing a pattern in which you are not making your own decisions will create a cycle of dependence on the other person. You will either willingly or unwillingly invite in controlling behavior if you do not manage issue. It would be the same as having your popcorn stolen from your stand over and over again because you did not lock it up at night.

There is no such thing as a simple solution to your problem but there are the above techniques to try if you find yourself in these situations. The most important thing to remember when you are trying to reach resolution to a problem is to STAY CALM! You will have your best wits about you and the most opportunity to understand yourself and the other person when you consciously step aside, put yourself together, do your homework, and remain a calm adult. You simply have to believe that you can do it and the answers to your relationships woes will become clear, biding it’s fixable.

Remember to keep the road clear and the popcorn flowing!

LastManOut

Grama once said….

My grandma always has a way of brightening things when I’m down. Here’s a few of them….

“If you fail, just try again.”

“Sometimes I think you take yourself a bit too seriously.”

She is prone to singing, “Gray skies gonna clear up, put on a happy face!”

With the tone of a former cheerleader she said, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

“I think it is good to make changes when you are young.”

When being cut off by a car, “You, Jackass!” Later changed to “Jackrabbit,” when my little cousin repeated it.

Also prone to singing, “You have to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, and latch on the affirmative; don’t mess with mister in between.”

She usually calls me Joshua, accenting the “J.”

She once danced around at a campground in her bra screaming, “I’m a nerd, I’m a nerd, I’m a nerd.”

Grandma does not “fart” she has “frogs in her basement.” Grandpa tends to think it is a fog horn and not frogs.

If you have any wonderful things your Grama has said, please feel free to leave them in the comments.

LastManOut

Internet Dating

Ok, I confess, I’m guilty as charged from dating on the internet. So are a lot of people, some absurd statistic of people use these services. In fact, at one point nearly two years ago before I met my boi, I was even somewhat of an on-line dating junkie. I had profiles on all sorts of sites, and I’m still getting update emails even when I think I cancelled all of them. I think the obsession stemmed from the fact that I really am a people person. I have always had an introspective quality to me, however, it has always been tempered by my personal experience of being surrounded by people. I find life to be entirely more enriching when you open up and make other people a part of it. So what better a service than on-line dating to be surrounded by other people with the ability to get to know them a lot better than you often would in person?

However, there were problems along the way. You end up going a lot of dates with absolute losers. There is a very good explanation for this as well. One of the main reasons is that a chunk of the “seeking” population does not have very good people skills and as such use on-line dating as a mask. There is also the chunk of people, who do not have very honorable intentions, play games, have depression, alcoholism, or are perhaps married or supposedly in a committed relationship, et cetera. One of the most difficult things to gage with on-line dating is what the other person’s true intentions are. You literally have to have a very good lie/missing information barometer in order to get the full picture before you determine whether or not this is a good or even safe person for you to meet in person. Unfortunately, being younger than I am now when I “dated” on-line, I can now clearly see where those errors in judgment were.

Values and etiquette, while perhaps different in some ways for on-line dating, should still be observed whenever seeking for a potential mate. The internet does not make something better just because it is now accessible in a billion different places. The same goes for people. I am not one qualified to criticize how you structure you sexual behavior and what type of relationship or experience you are looking for, however, no matter what your intentions, those should be made clearly so that you give the other person the right to decide if that is what is right for them. Behavior to the contrary is and should be considered sexual harassment.

You should always consider that there is going to be a flood of potentially unwanted behavior when you post your information on the internet. There is really nothing you can do about this other than discard it or use whatever reporting means there is. Just a personal comment to all the sick freaks that do this type of stuff, it’s not funny, sexy, or appropriate. You can bet that all of the creeps are going to come out of the closet on-line.

Speaking of coming out of the closet….. The internet can be one of the best places to do that for someone who is addressing their sexual orientation. This is for the major reason that the anonymity that the internet offers can be very freeing for someone who feels quite oppressed. Though, these people should be especially cautious.

The good of dating on line is that it opens up so many possibilities for communication that might not be possible otherwise. By overcoming scheduling, geographic problems, or locating minority populations so many people have really been able to expand their horizons.

On a personal note, my partner and I met on a very saucy website and we both just clicked and are a very happy committed couple. I realize that we are an exception in many ways to the typical on-line dating experience. When my boi emailed me those few times before we met, I really felt like he was being upfront with me. He’s been that way ever since, I expect that will always continue. I met the love of my life on-line. It wasn’t easy, but the good parts of on-line dating can really work for you with some discretion.

Female Friends of Gay Men

A friend of mine and I had a conversation last night about the age old term "Faghag." Well one is probably wondering what exactly is a faghag. So I did some research. According to The Cambrige On-line Dictionary a faghag is, "a woman who likes to spend time with homosexual men." On the surface it seems that a faghag is really not such a bag thing.

Many people both possible faghags and gay men alike take offense to the term and prefer to refer to female friends of gay men as something else. Why is it potentially offensive? Well, in sort of a traditional sense the gay community has recognized in a strict sense that a faghag is more of a woman who very actively seeks out gay men as close companions and is often in love with them romantically. It is not difficult to imagine that a woman of this sort does not command the same respect as a woman who happens to have friends that are gay men and positively affirms their sexual orientation. In most cases female freinds of gay men fall into one of the two interpretations discussed above. The line however is quite fine.

So what is the etiquette with the word faghag? The precise answer is currently unknown. However I can offer this guideline. There are a variety of women who are a "Self Proclaimed Faghag," such as Margaret Cho. Margaret Cho, a comedian, has on video proclaimed herself as a faghag. In this instance it is appropriate to refer to her as a faghag. However, in all other cases discrestion should be used.

Now onto the substitution to the word faghag. I personally do not endorse the use of the word fruitfly to describe these females because it is mostly absurd. Some like to think of it as a more polite way of refering to a faghag, but in my opinion, if it is true, call it for what it is.

So now for alternatives that matter. Since many of my female friends are just that, female friends, I prefer to call them my girlfriends. I think that this is possibly the most healthy way to term the relationship.

Gay men owe their "hags" a lot because truly they have been there through it all for them. So truthfully, there are girlfriends of mine who I do call faghags because that is simply what they are. Hag, Girlfriend, Fruitfly, what-have-you, These will always be the most important women in our lives. And we (the gays) as a community should applaud you for being some of the most loving and accepting people on the planet.

Yours truly,

LastManOut

First Week On The Job

I am now a representative for Medicare Part D. I have finished all my training and Monday was my first day on the floor. I guess it is always a humble reminder that there is really very little that we actually know. The distinction between knowing and believing has been become clear this week. There has been this gradual transition from converting things I believe to be true to confirmed knowledge. I guess, for me, there is always this need to confirm something the first time I use it. Call me overly cautious, however, I feel it gives me the confidence and piece of mind to reassure the other person. I have always appreciated it when people take the time to really explain things to me.

Taking the time to be clear and explain things has become and especially important as I attempt to explain the Medicare Part D policy to people. I've noticed that explaining an insurance plan to people is not entirely different than my former job of explaining accounts as a banker. I find it especially difficult to take all this new information and make concise answers out it. Though, with some pratice it has been getting better.

We had sensitivity training today which clued us in to what it is like for people with disabilities and the trials that many face accomplishing basic tasks. These types of training always mean a lot to me because I forget a lot of the time what it must be like to have to face things like arthritis, vision problems, and hearing loss to name a few. I guess the point of it all is that we just need to listen to people and help them as an individual.

Brokeback Bar

A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. But what the heck, he says to himself, "I can really use a drink."

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's the name of your weewee?" The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that, all I want is a drink." The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your weewee. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It,' and that guy down at the end of the bar calls his, Snickers, because it really 'Satisfies.'"

The cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?"

The man looks back and says with a smile "Timex," and the thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!"

A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fellas on his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you guys call yours?"

The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because Quality is Job One." Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?" The guy nex t to him then says, "I call mine CHEVY, 'Like A Rock.'" and gives a wink.

Even more shaken the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name. He exclaims, "The name of my weewee is 'SECRET.' Now give me a beer." The bartender begins to pour the Cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asked, "Why Secret?"

The cowboy says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN."

Nursing Home Joke

An 82 year old woman and a 96 year old man at a nursing home met each other in the dining room one afternoon. They talked all afternoon and soon became very good friends. They continued to talk every afternoon and one day the topic of sex came up in their conversation. The woman commented that she probably can't do much for the man anymore. The man said, yes, that probably doesn't work like it used to, but he said you could still hold it. So, the woman would hold it for him every afternoon. One afternoon the man didn't show up and the woman was very concerned, so she went up to his room to find him. She walked in the room and there was another woman sitting there holding it for him. The woman yelled, "You two-timing asshole, What does she have that I don't." The man replied, "Parkinson's."

Negative Election Ads

I could not help but notice today that it really is the heart of election season because all of the groups representing either the Republicans or Democrats Political Action Committees (PAC's) are running their usual slew of dirt that they dug up on the opposing candidate. In our district, Mark Green is stepping down from the House of Representatives to run for Governor and Steve Kagen-D and John Gard-R are running to fill his seat. While I do not expressly support either of these campains I do have to wonder who the people are who are producing these commcials that focus not on issues or what really matters but on an interpretation of their view of these mens' characters. I think it is a dis-service to our country to endorse or pay any serious attention to the content of these commercials. They seek to confuse, harm, and tell many half truths.

The real problem is the people that donate money to these organizations so that they are able to run these commcials in the first place. You would think that they could find an organization that could really do some good for someone to donate their money to. Have we forgotten all about hunger, poor children, and the sick and disabled? These commercials are also a huge waste of time, which is also an even greater waste money. This air time could at least be spent marketing a product, which would potentially help drive sales. That sales boost certainly couldn't hurt the economy?

Our politicians will probably never live up to anyone's standards because they don't even have the strenth to address these people for who they are head on. And further, neither side has told their people to convince these groups not to run these commercials? These people are out to fulfill thier own purposes and their actions represent nothing that is good and true. Their intentions are mean and spiteful. Let them also meet that end.

If we keep running campains like this, we will not get candidates that are truly qualified to do their jobs. That is the saddest part of it all.

LastManOut.

Wise Bathroom Saying

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.

Resignation/New Job

Today marks a mile stone in my life. I have managed in the last month and a half to find a new job. Today I called my boss in the morning and she was really much more gracious about me giving her my notice over the phone than I had expected.

Why am I changing Jobs?

1) Salary

It is my discovery that for being the next best thing to having an assistant branch manager at our location, that I do not make very much more for doing that. While my salary is supposed to be confidential, I did discuss it with a couple other co-workers as well as a couple other friends of mine at other banks who are in lower positions. The result of my survey is that I make about 50 - 70 cents an hour more than them. This to me is not adequate compensation for everything that I do/am responsible for.

2) Work Environment

I have not always had the most generous employment with the Bank.

3) Career Goals

It really was never in my career goals to be a banker.

4) Other Factors

Jerad wants to open a flower shop in spring and will need my help in the mornings and on weekends. My new job would allow for that.

To make it short........ They can take this job and shove it.

I am very, Very, very excited about my new job because I am taking a position which is actually a downgrade from my current one to make subtantially more money than I do new. I will be getting a pay increase of about $1.43/hr over what I make now.

The only regret I have is that I didn't go and apply with the new company last year. - Lesson Learned.

Miracles Do Happen

The last month has been a journey for the entire family. Jerad's mom Lori was struck with a staph infection mostly due from, what we can tell, a minor surgery that she had in December. About 4 weeks ago as she was returning from vacation she was hospitalized. Since then she has undergone open heart surgery to replace a valve that the bateria ate away, she had her spleen removed, they put in a direct feeding line, and a tracheotomy so she could breathe better.

When I visted Mama this past Tuesday the speech therapist was with her in her room. She had also been transferred to a regular room out of ICU. The doctors had told us that they were not sure if she would ever be able to talk. I was awestruck when Mama was saying "Yes" and "No" and names of family members. She was also putting together sentances. It was a miracle to hear her say anything after all those long weeks in the hospital where we were not even sure if she was going to make it through the weekend. Just two weeks ago she didn't seem to understand anything that was going on around her. And then yesterday, I went up to visit and she and I had a very wonderful afternoon. Yesterday I did Mama's nails up for her for Easter. When I was finished she said, "God Bless You." I've never felt so blessed in my life, not because I helped her, but because Mama simply being able to say that made my heart leap.

Yesterday was Maundy Thursday and after our parishes Passover meal and Mass Fr. Seth came up and visted Mama with us. She had said that she would very much like to pray with him. Last year on Easter was the first time that Mama had met Fr. Seth. During the sprinkling of Holy water a drop of it hit her nose and an immediate healing took place for Mama. Mama Lori had an infection on her face a few years ago and ever since she had severe pain on her nose, which were something like headaches. After the water hit her nose the pain was gone. She was finally able to tell Fr. Seth this story last night. She had written herself a note to call him about it a year ago!!! :) The most wonderful thing about her healing was that she got such a sense of peace at that moment. She had that peace again last night when we prayed. The lord has truly been with Mama through everything.

Whether Mama's healing was actually physical or spiritual last Easter, there is truly a sign of rebirth in our lives. Mama described to me yesterday that this Easter is for her a rebirth this year. Jesus's dying and rising had brought new life to us all. In baptism, Christians experience this powerful symbol as we are submersed in water three times. We are reborn when come out of the water. We are born to a life with Christ for others so that they may know the miracle of Easter too. We are all saved in the resurrection. And as we truly and profoundly aknowlege through Jesus's death and triumph, Our sins are surely forgiven. Halleluia!!

Happy Easter

Cheezy Pick Up Line

"God you're hot! I heard your ankles are having a party. Can I invite your pants down?"

Margaret Chow And Everything Else

Winter is really starting to get to just about everyone I know. I usually hold out the longest, not because I'm some sort of goody goody Mrs. Sunshine, but because once you jump on the band wagon, you're along for the ride. My live in lover and I now spend most of our time eating, trying to make up for eating at the gym, and watching movies. Tonight was movie night with the family(His Dad and Dad's "roommate"). Well I have been reminded not so subtely that two family movie nights ago we all watched "Margaret Chow I'm the One That I Want." Some people might not think this is unusual for the families of gay children to watch together, but believe me, some things like Margaret Chow are more of an inside gay thing in Green Bay, WI. I forget how small town our city can be; I mean I take for granted that not everyone has heard of lesbian comedians. Well "Mama," Papa's roommate, has latched on to, "Hi my name is Gwynne and I'm here to wash your vagina." I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be having family night with Margaret Chow. Chow's own treatments on family make the entire situation even more funny. This was such an oppurtunity for our family to learn more about us as a couple and it was so successful. It's like my "in laws" finally understand a little bit what it is like to be my partner or myself. We have really grown and bonded over this. This is true progess for the gay rights movement because we have changed hearts in a fun and positive way.

The fun positive gay rights movement did however come to its ever expected screeching halt with the passage of the gay marriage and civil union ban referrendum by the WI State assembly last week. A lady from church who knows my parter and myself well was not even able to explain to another friend exactly what was happening because she was so upset by even the thought of it. Again, this sort of phenomenon happening is tremendous progress for the gay rights movement. There has to be been evidnece in the last couple years of a real allies awakening. Our heterosexual counterparts know that we really need them. Our church lady friend had mentioned how she was working with Positive Voice on educating others on the referrendum so that when it comes around this fall it will not pass. It shames me in many ways because I'm not working with Positive Voice to help educate. There are so many excuses why not. But, I'm sure if I tried, I could find the time. I really thank God for people like our friend because without her I'd be really fucked in the long run. The whole gay rights thing is such a struggle for gay people themselves. We are not unified and yet well organized. Many gay people don't even believe in the institution of marriage. I'm not sure what I believe about what marriage is supposed to be, but what I do know is that my partner and I have one of the most real relationships together. It has been inspiring to the both of us, and I truly believe as of today that is has been inspiring to others as well.

Yet Another Joke

One day a teacher was teaching her students the different tastes of food. The teacher said to the class, "I need a volunteer for and experiment." So all the kids jumped up and down out of their seats to be chosen and little Jonny jumped first so the teacher picked him. The teacher then blind folded him and gave him a piece of food to eat. She asked, "Now Jonny what is it you're eating." Jonny replied, "Well teacher it tastes like and orange." "Very good Jonny go and sit down." The teacher asked for another volunteer and little Suzy raised her hand first. She gave little Suzy a piece of apple and she got it right too. Now, the teacher had one more test for her students and little Jerad was up for the challange. She blind folded him and gave him a chocolate kiss to eat. She said, "Now Jerad what is it that you are eating." Jerad replied, "Well teacher I just don't know." Teacher said, "Well I'll give you a hint. It's something your mother gives your father every night." Just then one little boy from the back of the room started jumping up and down and screamed, "Jerad, spit it out; it's a piece of ass!!!"