A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Golf Humor
A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.
"I'm on the 7th hole," she replied, "and you are a hole behind me. So you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his play.
On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached her again with the same request. "I'm on number 14, and you're still a hole behind, so you must be on the 13th hole." Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.
He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a saleslady and played the course often. He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you're in the sales profession. I'm in sales also. "What do you sell?"
"I'll tell you, but you're going to laugh," she replied.
"No, I won't."
"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."
With that, he laughed so hard he almost fell off the bar stool.
"See," she said. "I knew you'd laugh!"
"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied, "I'm a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you."
"I'm on the 7th hole," she replied, "and you are a hole behind me. So you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his play.
On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached her again with the same request. "I'm on number 14, and you're still a hole behind, so you must be on the 13th hole." Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.
He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a saleslady and played the course often. He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you're in the sales profession. I'm in sales also. "What do you sell?"
"I'll tell you, but you're going to laugh," she replied.
"No, I won't."
"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."
With that, he laughed so hard he almost fell off the bar stool.
"See," she said. "I knew you'd laugh!"
"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied, "I'm a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you."
A Cracked Pot
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and lways delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house." The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?" "That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house." The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?" "That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!
Packers vs. Bears
One foggy night, a Green Bay Packers fan was heading south from Green Bay and a Chicago Bears fan was driving north from Chicago. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head on, mangling both cars. The packers fan managed to climb out of his car and survey the damage.He looked at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!" Likewise, the Bears fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.
The Bears fan walks over to the Packers fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals." The Packers fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."
The Packers fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Bears fan, "I think this is another sign-we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Bears fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half the bottle, the Bears fan hands it back to the Packers fan and says, "Your turn."
The Packers fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, Throws the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."
The Bears fan walks over to the Packers fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals." The Packers fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."
The Packers fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Bears fan, "I think this is another sign-we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Bears fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half the bottle, the Bears fan hands it back to the Packers fan and says, "Your turn."
The Packers fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, Throws the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
New Puppy Photos!
Friday, January 12, 2007
Chocolate chip cookie Recipe
Ingredients:
1 stick of butter
½ cup Crisco (I like butter flavored Crisco.)
¾ cup sugar
¾ cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
2¼ cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1½ cups oatmeal (do not use instant)
1 cup chopped nuts (walnuts preferred)
1 11oz bag of chocolate chips
Instructions:
Preheat oven to 350 F
In a large mixing bowl or your standing mixer, cream together butter, Crisco, sugar, and brown sugar. While mixing, add eggs and vanilla to the mixture. Add flour, baking soda, and salt in increments and mix until blended through. Mix in oatmeal, nuts, and chocolate chips by hand or with rubber spatula.
Lightly grease your cookie sheet if necessary, non stick sheets are preferred. Roll dough into palm sized balls and flatten ball into a patty on cookie sheet. Do not over flatten ball. Bake at 350 for about 10 minutes or until bottom of cookie is golden brown.
Let cookies cool on a raised rack. Yield = approximately 5 dozen cookies. This cookie is sure to please.
This recipe is from my Mother, Jane.
1 stick of butter
½ cup Crisco (I like butter flavored Crisco.)
¾ cup sugar
¾ cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
2¼ cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1½ cups oatmeal (do not use instant)
1 cup chopped nuts (walnuts preferred)
1 11oz bag of chocolate chips
Instructions:
Preheat oven to 350 F
In a large mixing bowl or your standing mixer, cream together butter, Crisco, sugar, and brown sugar. While mixing, add eggs and vanilla to the mixture. Add flour, baking soda, and salt in increments and mix until blended through. Mix in oatmeal, nuts, and chocolate chips by hand or with rubber spatula.
Lightly grease your cookie sheet if necessary, non stick sheets are preferred. Roll dough into palm sized balls and flatten ball into a patty on cookie sheet. Do not over flatten ball. Bake at 350 for about 10 minutes or until bottom of cookie is golden brown.
Let cookies cool on a raised rack. Yield = approximately 5 dozen cookies. This cookie is sure to please.
This recipe is from my Mother, Jane.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Crazyness
Work lately has been really crazy. As some of you may know I work in customer service for Medicare Part D plans. I'm always amazed by the variety of people that I talk to on a daily basis as compared to any other job I've had. There is truly a random diversity of people that call in because everyone 65 and over qualifies for medicare. In a lot of cases the calls that I get are from their family members, pharmacists, and health providers, which adds in another mix of diversity. Not everyone that calls me is even old, a lot of people who have medicare are young and disabled.
Well as all of those who are impacted by Part D know, we just ended the annual enrollment period on Dec 31st. As a result, many people are now calling us for their member materials and also many many others for pharmacy information because we had to go and change some of the information on their cards for 2007. All of this is what keeps me employed, so I'm really not complaining about my job at all. In fact, I love my job no matter what the problem for so many reasons. First off, my job is relatively easy compared to my last job. In fact, the really nice thing is that my job is almost completely paperless. Generally the people that I help are quite polite and appreciate the work that I do. I did not expect that people would be so nice on the phone when I took this job. Though, I have a feeling that when my generation has to deal with medicare, they probably won't be as patient as their Grandparents are.
The last couple weeks have been an exception to the usual happy Retirees that I usually work with. There have been many frustrated persons, one calling right after the other, who have let me know where we can stick it. In fact, a good chunk of the people calling are very angry over service issues that are ordinarily routine fixes. Why is everyone frustrated this time of year?? It all stems from the fact that these folks who are generally older would much rather be doing something else than trying to fill a prescription. They are also frustrated by the limited coverage in some cases by Part D plans and the very bad service of some carriers. They have also had to wait on hold every place they called just to get an answer to a simple question. For those who are really unfortunate they have had to try to work out an enrollment issue with Medicare. When ever dealing with a Medicare drug plan, contacting Medicare themselves is the last ditch effort. No one wants to call Medicare or Social Security.
The Medicare/SSA phobia is well founded. All of the things that really go wrong for part D participants seem to stem from Medicare and Social Security. In fact, generally, the things that work best with the Part D program are those things that are handled by the private insurance companies that underwrite the policies. Case in point, (not to brag) but I know for certain that we provide our members with much better customer service than Medicare and SSA does. I remember having to call SSA as a banker to people's direct deposit switched with them. The turn around time was always like 2-3 months. I have learned in my new job that SSA's turn around time is like always 2-3 months. If it happens sooner, it is purely by the grace of God.
So with all the problems that surround our members this time of year, it's no wonder they're a little cranky/crazy. I would be too. The most satisfying thing is being able to help these people. And they deserve it too, it's amazing what these people have accomplished in their life. They deserve the absolute best. And sadly, as so many of our members have very humbly related to me, many of them have received the absolute worst with respect to their senior benefits. I know that our country can do these people one better. I plan to do my part for them one person at a time.
Happy Weekend,
LastManOut
Well as all of those who are impacted by Part D know, we just ended the annual enrollment period on Dec 31st. As a result, many people are now calling us for their member materials and also many many others for pharmacy information because we had to go and change some of the information on their cards for 2007. All of this is what keeps me employed, so I'm really not complaining about my job at all. In fact, I love my job no matter what the problem for so many reasons. First off, my job is relatively easy compared to my last job. In fact, the really nice thing is that my job is almost completely paperless. Generally the people that I help are quite polite and appreciate the work that I do. I did not expect that people would be so nice on the phone when I took this job. Though, I have a feeling that when my generation has to deal with medicare, they probably won't be as patient as their Grandparents are.
The last couple weeks have been an exception to the usual happy Retirees that I usually work with. There have been many frustrated persons, one calling right after the other, who have let me know where we can stick it. In fact, a good chunk of the people calling are very angry over service issues that are ordinarily routine fixes. Why is everyone frustrated this time of year?? It all stems from the fact that these folks who are generally older would much rather be doing something else than trying to fill a prescription. They are also frustrated by the limited coverage in some cases by Part D plans and the very bad service of some carriers. They have also had to wait on hold every place they called just to get an answer to a simple question. For those who are really unfortunate they have had to try to work out an enrollment issue with Medicare. When ever dealing with a Medicare drug plan, contacting Medicare themselves is the last ditch effort. No one wants to call Medicare or Social Security.
The Medicare/SSA phobia is well founded. All of the things that really go wrong for part D participants seem to stem from Medicare and Social Security. In fact, generally, the things that work best with the Part D program are those things that are handled by the private insurance companies that underwrite the policies. Case in point, (not to brag) but I know for certain that we provide our members with much better customer service than Medicare and SSA does. I remember having to call SSA as a banker to people's direct deposit switched with them. The turn around time was always like 2-3 months. I have learned in my new job that SSA's turn around time is like always 2-3 months. If it happens sooner, it is purely by the grace of God.
So with all the problems that surround our members this time of year, it's no wonder they're a little cranky/crazy. I would be too. The most satisfying thing is being able to help these people. And they deserve it too, it's amazing what these people have accomplished in their life. They deserve the absolute best. And sadly, as so many of our members have very humbly related to me, many of them have received the absolute worst with respect to their senior benefits. I know that our country can do these people one better. I plan to do my part for them one person at a time.
Happy Weekend,
LastManOut
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Happy New Year
I meant to get this out to everyone yesterday, but anyway, Happy New Year to you! I'm very excited for this year. So many wonderful things are planned to happen. Jerad and I will celebrate our 2 year anniversary on Jan 8th. We are celebrating in Chicago this weekend with Holly and Susan. Everyone is excited to go and do some shopping down town. I'm also greatly excited for my birthday in February because I'll be 25 and get a discount on my car insurance. Hehe... The Potting Shed & Design is looking at expanding its business even more, I'm sure those new business endeavors for Jerad and I will also be most exciting.
More seriously though, I am very hopeful this year. I have a very good feeling about its prospects. I have had significant time the past few days to really give a lot of thought to all the blessings I had in 2006 and how wonderful and rich my life is. It still seems like a dream when I consider Jerad's mom going into the hospital, nearly loosing her, and then her very miraculous recover. Also, it seems like so long ago that we were looking at houses, finding ours, and then moving in. I feel like we've always meant to live where we do now. It wasn't so long ago that Jerad bought the huge cargo van for the business. And, It's still a new experience with so many things at my new Job that I got this year. Of all the wonderful changes I have to say the biggest is a profound realization of the role that Jerad plays in my life. He has truly been there for just about everything; I'm so blessed to be with a man like him.
New Year's Resolutions.
I've always disliked making resolutions for the new year because I've always known what I could work on. It seems like the laundry list of items always grows each year, and many items from that basket of laundry keep ending up in the wash. I very much struggle with maintaining a healthy diet, weight, and exercise regimen. This is just one of those areas I'm not very good at. Jerad and I joined the Y last New Year's, and this year we are going to commit to visiting them more often. I'm committing myself this year to figuring out what I'm going to do with my career. I am in a great work place right now, but I know that I can do more. Lastly, I plan to tidy up a lot of loose ends. I have way to many outstanding craft projects and I would really like to learn certain pieces of music.
New Year's is in my opinion one of the best times to evaluate how things are going in your life. I suppose this is the root of the "New Year's Resolution." I hope that all reading this truly have a wonderful and fruitful new year. Best of Luck in accomplishing your New Year's Resolutions too.
More seriously though, I am very hopeful this year. I have a very good feeling about its prospects. I have had significant time the past few days to really give a lot of thought to all the blessings I had in 2006 and how wonderful and rich my life is. It still seems like a dream when I consider Jerad's mom going into the hospital, nearly loosing her, and then her very miraculous recover. Also, it seems like so long ago that we were looking at houses, finding ours, and then moving in. I feel like we've always meant to live where we do now. It wasn't so long ago that Jerad bought the huge cargo van for the business. And, It's still a new experience with so many things at my new Job that I got this year. Of all the wonderful changes I have to say the biggest is a profound realization of the role that Jerad plays in my life. He has truly been there for just about everything; I'm so blessed to be with a man like him.
New Year's Resolutions.
I've always disliked making resolutions for the new year because I've always known what I could work on. It seems like the laundry list of items always grows each year, and many items from that basket of laundry keep ending up in the wash. I very much struggle with maintaining a healthy diet, weight, and exercise regimen. This is just one of those areas I'm not very good at. Jerad and I joined the Y last New Year's, and this year we are going to commit to visiting them more often. I'm committing myself this year to figuring out what I'm going to do with my career. I am in a great work place right now, but I know that I can do more. Lastly, I plan to tidy up a lot of loose ends. I have way to many outstanding craft projects and I would really like to learn certain pieces of music.
New Year's is in my opinion one of the best times to evaluate how things are going in your life. I suppose this is the root of the "New Year's Resolution." I hope that all reading this truly have a wonderful and fruitful new year. Best of Luck in accomplishing your New Year's Resolutions too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)