A young couple wanted to join the church, the pastor told them, "We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month." The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed.
"You are back so soon... Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired. We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month." the young man replied sadly. The pastor asked him what happened. "Well, the first week was difficult... However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower." "The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain." "However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible...anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts."
"One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat." admitted the man, shamefacedly. The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, "You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church." "We know." said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome at Home Depot either."
Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Sandals
A married couple walked into a tourist shop. The Jamaican said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex."
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.
The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Mon." So, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in,and tried them on.
As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm a hold of the Jamaican's hips.
The Jamaican then began screaming, "You got dem on the wrong feet! You got dem on de wrong feet!"
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.
The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Mon." So, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in,and tried them on.
As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm a hold of the Jamaican's hips.
The Jamaican then began screaming, "You got dem on the wrong feet! You got dem on de wrong feet!"
Friday, December 01, 2006
World Aids Day
Today Dec. 1st is marked as world Aids day. Most people are aware of the major issues that the Hiv/Aids presents. In rememberance of all the victims of this disease and their family and friends please join me in raising a prayer to these brave people.
Behind every statistic there is face. The estimated 39 million people affected world wide are so many people's mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, and loved ones. Each of these people need our help to lift up their voice, to continue researching a cure, to listen to their needs, and to place Hiv/Aids at the forefront of international discussion. World Aids Day is a time for these needs.
Contribution to fighting Hiv/Aids is often very simple. While monetary donations make vital services such as medical assitance, hospice care, and on-going research possible, solidarity is equally important. You can show your support with a red rippon, volunteering, or sharing your story so that others may better understand.
In support and prayerful rememberance,
LastManOut
Behind every statistic there is face. The estimated 39 million people affected world wide are so many people's mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, and loved ones. Each of these people need our help to lift up their voice, to continue researching a cure, to listen to their needs, and to place Hiv/Aids at the forefront of international discussion. World Aids Day is a time for these needs.
Contribution to fighting Hiv/Aids is often very simple. While monetary donations make vital services such as medical assitance, hospice care, and on-going research possible, solidarity is equally important. You can show your support with a red rippon, volunteering, or sharing your story so that others may better understand.
In support and prayerful rememberance,
LastManOut
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Just wear it….
I at one time owned a bumper sticker that had a black background and a simple white image on it of an unrolled condom that stated, “Just wear it.” I have always been very impressed with that message because it stated very simply and plainly with out confusion exactly what this item is for. It has come to my surprise that there are those people who do not know that using a condom is controversial from a moral standpoint, or banned by the Catholic Church. In all of their sexual morays, the Catholic Church has forbid its followers to use …condoms. Why? It is believed that sexual promiscuity outside of marriage as well as sex for non-reproductive purposes is gravely sinful. That leaves sex for married people who are either trying or open to getting pregnant. That’s it. No sex for anyone else ever.
The Church’s current position on Condom’s excludes them from use by anyone. This black and white, all encompassing, policy could not possibly take into the many situations in which condom use is completely appropriate from a medical and social standpoint. When should you wear a condom? You should wear one whenever you have any doubt about a partner’s STD status, when you are in no place or situation in which you could care for a child, when you simply don’t want to get pregnant, and any other time that you are not trying to get pregnant. It’s really quite simple. The condom lets you enjoy sex and gives you piece of mind. The condom is not fail safe and relies on its user knowing how to wear it properly. When used effectively it can help prevent pregnancy and STD’s. Plus, the use of a condom keeps your partner from being filled with semen, which some people find unpleasant. Wear a condom. As Martha would say, “It’s a good thing.”
So sex for enjoyment purposes is very controversial for Roman Catholics. That is why the Pope has a problem with what gay people do in bed. We enjoy sex. I also resent the statements by the Catholic Church and its clergy that homosexuals are preoccupied with sex. I am not preoccupied with sex nor are most gay people. I am not a nymphomaniac (Nymphomania is technically defined as excessive sexual desire by a female, from nymphae, the inner lips of the vulva, but to be fair, guys are way more guilty than girls in this area.) The difference between the Pope and I is that I have actually have sex and also have a healthy attitude towards it. When you consider the health effects of simply having sex, one wonders why exactly it is not encouraged more. It is widely known that sex is a natural anti-depressant, adds years to your life, and just plain makes you feel better. It’s crazy to think that people should only use it for reproductive purposes. And if you’re going to play the game, very practically, you need the right equipment. The condom should be the first thing you consider.
This article was sparked by an article I recently read and is feature in a link below. The article addresses the topic that the Vatican has recently commissioned a study on condom use. What the study will find we will probably never know because the Church is refusing to release its contents. Why should we be concerned? Well one of the world’s major religious institutions is going to use a private document to possibly make decisions about how to tell people to have sex and they aren’t even going to open it up for discussion. It’s appalling. So, no matter what the Church spouts off on with regard to a piece of rubber, please just remember for your own good, just wear it.
Yours truly,
LastManOut
More information at:
http://news.yahoo.com/
The Church’s current position on Condom’s excludes them from use by anyone. This black and white, all encompassing, policy could not possibly take into the many situations in which condom use is completely appropriate from a medical and social standpoint. When should you wear a condom? You should wear one whenever you have any doubt about a partner’s STD status, when you are in no place or situation in which you could care for a child, when you simply don’t want to get pregnant, and any other time that you are not trying to get pregnant. It’s really quite simple. The condom lets you enjoy sex and gives you piece of mind. The condom is not fail safe and relies on its user knowing how to wear it properly. When used effectively it can help prevent pregnancy and STD’s. Plus, the use of a condom keeps your partner from being filled with semen, which some people find unpleasant. Wear a condom. As Martha would say, “It’s a good thing.”
So sex for enjoyment purposes is very controversial for Roman Catholics. That is why the Pope has a problem with what gay people do in bed. We enjoy sex. I also resent the statements by the Catholic Church and its clergy that homosexuals are preoccupied with sex. I am not preoccupied with sex nor are most gay people. I am not a nymphomaniac (Nymphomania is technically defined as excessive sexual desire by a female, from nymphae, the inner lips of the vulva, but to be fair, guys are way more guilty than girls in this area.) The difference between the Pope and I is that I have actually have sex and also have a healthy attitude towards it. When you consider the health effects of simply having sex, one wonders why exactly it is not encouraged more. It is widely known that sex is a natural anti-depressant, adds years to your life, and just plain makes you feel better. It’s crazy to think that people should only use it for reproductive purposes. And if you’re going to play the game, very practically, you need the right equipment. The condom should be the first thing you consider.
This article was sparked by an article I recently read and is feature in a link below. The article addresses the topic that the Vatican has recently commissioned a study on condom use. What the study will find we will probably never know because the Church is refusing to release its contents. Why should we be concerned? Well one of the world’s major religious institutions is going to use a private document to possibly make decisions about how to tell people to have sex and they aren’t even going to open it up for discussion. It’s appalling. So, no matter what the Church spouts off on with regard to a piece of rubber, please just remember for your own good, just wear it.
Yours truly,
LastManOut
More information at:
http://news.yahoo.com/
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Internet Dating
Ok, I confess, I’m guilty as charged from dating on the internet. So are a lot of people, some absurd statistic of people use these services. In fact, at one point nearly two years ago before I met my boi, I was even somewhat of an on-line dating junkie. I had profiles on all sorts of sites, and I’m still getting update emails even when I think I cancelled all of them. I think the obsession stemmed from the fact that I really am a people person. I have always had an introspective quality to me, however, it has always been tempered by my personal experience of being surrounded by people. I find life to be entirely more enriching when you open up and make other people a part of it. So what better a service than on-line dating to be surrounded by other people with the ability to get to know them a lot better than you often would in person?
However, there were problems along the way. You end up going a lot of dates with absolute losers. There is a very good explanation for this as well. One of the main reasons is that a chunk of the “seeking” population does not have very good people skills and as such use on-line dating as a mask. There is also the chunk of people, who do not have very honorable intentions, play games, have depression, alcoholism, or are perhaps married or supposedly in a committed relationship, et cetera. One of the most difficult things to gage with on-line dating is what the other person’s true intentions are. You literally have to have a very good lie/missing information barometer in order to get the full picture before you determine whether or not this is a good or even safe person for you to meet in person. Unfortunately, being younger than I am now when I “dated” on-line, I can now clearly see where those errors in judgment were.
Values and etiquette, while perhaps different in some ways for on-line dating, should still be observed whenever seeking for a potential mate. The internet does not make something better just because it is now accessible in a billion different places. The same goes for people. I am not one qualified to criticize how you structure you sexual behavior and what type of relationship or experience you are looking for, however, no matter what your intentions, those should be made clearly so that you give the other person the right to decide if that is what is right for them. Behavior to the contrary is and should be considered sexual harassment.
You should always consider that there is going to be a flood of potentially unwanted behavior when you post your information on the internet. There is really nothing you can do about this other than discard it or use whatever reporting means there is. Just a personal comment to all the sick freaks that do this type of stuff, it’s not funny, sexy, or appropriate. You can bet that all of the creeps are going to come out of the closet on-line.
Speaking of coming out of the closet….. The internet can be one of the best places to do that for someone who is addressing their sexual orientation. This is for the major reason that the anonymity that the internet offers can be very freeing for someone who feels quite oppressed. Though, these people should be especially cautious.
The good of dating on line is that it opens up so many possibilities for communication that might not be possible otherwise. By overcoming scheduling, geographic problems, or locating minority populations so many people have really been able to expand their horizons.
On a personal note, my partner and I met on a very saucy website and we both just clicked and are a very happy committed couple. I realize that we are an exception in many ways to the typical on-line dating experience. When my boi emailed me those few times before we met, I really felt like he was being upfront with me. He’s been that way ever since, I expect that will always continue. I met the love of my life on-line. It wasn’t easy, but the good parts of on-line dating can really work for you with some discretion.
However, there were problems along the way. You end up going a lot of dates with absolute losers. There is a very good explanation for this as well. One of the main reasons is that a chunk of the “seeking” population does not have very good people skills and as such use on-line dating as a mask. There is also the chunk of people, who do not have very honorable intentions, play games, have depression, alcoholism, or are perhaps married or supposedly in a committed relationship, et cetera. One of the most difficult things to gage with on-line dating is what the other person’s true intentions are. You literally have to have a very good lie/missing information barometer in order to get the full picture before you determine whether or not this is a good or even safe person for you to meet in person. Unfortunately, being younger than I am now when I “dated” on-line, I can now clearly see where those errors in judgment were.
Values and etiquette, while perhaps different in some ways for on-line dating, should still be observed whenever seeking for a potential mate. The internet does not make something better just because it is now accessible in a billion different places. The same goes for people. I am not one qualified to criticize how you structure you sexual behavior and what type of relationship or experience you are looking for, however, no matter what your intentions, those should be made clearly so that you give the other person the right to decide if that is what is right for them. Behavior to the contrary is and should be considered sexual harassment.
You should always consider that there is going to be a flood of potentially unwanted behavior when you post your information on the internet. There is really nothing you can do about this other than discard it or use whatever reporting means there is. Just a personal comment to all the sick freaks that do this type of stuff, it’s not funny, sexy, or appropriate. You can bet that all of the creeps are going to come out of the closet on-line.
Speaking of coming out of the closet….. The internet can be one of the best places to do that for someone who is addressing their sexual orientation. This is for the major reason that the anonymity that the internet offers can be very freeing for someone who feels quite oppressed. Though, these people should be especially cautious.
The good of dating on line is that it opens up so many possibilities for communication that might not be possible otherwise. By overcoming scheduling, geographic problems, or locating minority populations so many people have really been able to expand their horizons.
On a personal note, my partner and I met on a very saucy website and we both just clicked and are a very happy committed couple. I realize that we are an exception in many ways to the typical on-line dating experience. When my boi emailed me those few times before we met, I really felt like he was being upfront with me. He’s been that way ever since, I expect that will always continue. I met the love of my life on-line. It wasn’t easy, but the good parts of on-line dating can really work for you with some discretion.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)