I go through these phases in life where I pretty much live the current day just to make it through to a not so distant event in the future. I'm experiencing that in like overdrive this year. There is the day by day count off to Christmas. Then there is the day by day count off to our vacation; Jerad and I are flying out to Steamboat, Co on Dec 26th. Then there is the count down to the end of Open Enrollment for Medicare Part D, in which I work. We are also counting down to New Year. The fact that I'm missing the end of open enrollment at my job and getting away from the Flower Shop at the same time is seriously unusual.
I first noticed this phase the week of our Christmas party, Dec 8th. I was busy trying to get the carpet replaced in our house, cleaning, and prepping for the big event. I remember saying to myself, I leave for vacation in three weeks, I just have to make it through this. Things just started to spiral downward from there.
Yesterday Lynn, my former voice teacher, now friend, got in a car accident and underwent surgery at St. Vincent. So, I'm filling in at church for Christmas Masses for Organ. It hit me today that It's just another thing that I'm just "trying to get through."
I find it really challenging to feel like it's Christmas. I mean I haven't had a stitch of time to reflect about anything. I know you're supposed to "live in the moment," but seriously, living in the moment is for people who do not have anything better to do. Christmas is increasingly meaning, just another thing. I honestly feel like this just gets worse every year. I'm hardly going to see my family, I have to cover all the bases in one day this year. I just feel like everyone around me deserves better.
