The end of 2009 has been an eventful and bittersweet time in my life. I have felt deeply the absence of the optimism that was once the hallmark of America's moral goodness. The economic state has translated in to a national consciousness of depression. Reports still say things are getting worse, money for government programs are running out, businesses are still going bankrupt, Saturn and Saab are being phased out of existence, etc. Through all of this, I have tried to persevere and find the good in things.
My mother recently told me that, "If everyone just did their job, we would all have so much less work to do." I have often said this to myself, and wholeheartedly agreed with her. I am weary of dealing with things that should have been taken care of rightfully by someone else. The accumulation of problems in my life that have resulted from other people who do not do their job, is as countless as the stars. We should all recognize with some humility that we all do somethings wrong at work. Though, I often wonder, how many of us truly work to correct the mistakes we make, or do we just pass the buck onto someone else? This year, the latter has felt more true.
Jerad and I have both lost two very close people to us this month. My Great-Grandmother passed away a few weeks ago on December 6th. Jim, a close friend and customer of ours, just passed away the morning after Christmas. These things are very troubling at Christmastime. It is difficult to celebrate when you feel like crying. I realized that I had taken for granted the many things that Grandma had done for us over the years. She was just such a fixture in my life that I never really expected her to die. Her funeral was very difficult to get through. I played organ and sang for it. I guess the music went well, but all I could do was try to keep myself from completely falling apart. It's selfish to have thought about myself, I should have taken more time to grieve before the funeral because it was important to Grandma that her music at her funeral was done well. Jerad has been completely distraught over loosing Jim. His death was much more unexpected than my Grandma's. The funeral was on Tuesday. Jerad's reaction to Jim's death is iconic, "How could God let something like this happen to the nicest man in the world." For both of us, there is a deep and trying problem of pain in all of this.
We have lost many other people close to us this year. We lost another friend of ours, another Jim, to cancer in July. Janelle's father passed away, from cancer as well. Many other of our friends and family have been severely ill as well, we've been praying for Jerad's Grandpa, Eric, Don, & many others.
Christmas as a holiday was better before its mass commercialization. Christmas' mass exploitation is due to a shift from Christmas being a day to celebrate the birth of the messiah, to a day that in American culture celebrates Christmas as a sort of cultural tradition void of specific religious meaning. It is the humanistic approach to Christmas that dominates how most people celebrate this time year. And to be honest, campaigns that try to win back the real meaning of Christmas that sound like "He is the reason for the season," completely miss the reason for the problem. Too many hearts and minds have no room for love or charity throughout the course of the year. Furthermore, too little is done during the year for these people that would inspire them to feel differently at Christmas.
We were blessed this year to have another Golden Retriever, Riley, with us. We adopted him in the fall of 2008 because he really needed a home. Well, after a year with us, it was apparent that Riley just wasn't happy. He needed much more individual attention than we could give him and Lily just did not seem to take well to having a brother. Additionally, our house was just too small for two large dogs. So, we began a search to find him a better home. After about a month we just were just not having very much success and we were thinking maybe we just need to sell our house to have more room for him, when my brothers said that they would love to have Riley. It truly is a match in heaven that Riley has gone to live with Joe and Jordan in Fond du Lac. I can't help but miss him awfully though. He was my special boy and I really enjoyed how happy he always seemed. I think he was the best friend you could ever have.
We came back from my mother's after Christmas to a refrigerator that had died. We bought a new one on Monday and it was delivered yesterday. We were blessed with some unexpected money in the last couple of days, which is nearly paying for all of the cost. It's funny how sometimes things just work out.
I had a lot to celebrate when I passed my licensing exam. Finally, after more than 3 years, I'm going to be a licensed insurance agent. Really, it didn't take that long for me to pass; I just couldn't get the course done until now.
Some of you are not going to find this surprising, but it took St. Norbert a very long time to clear up the confusion with issuing my diploma. I had actually finished everything well over 2 years ago. This summer, they finally sent my diploma. Jerad put it in a frame. While I am happy the whole ordeal is over, I'm still very upset with St. Norbert over the cost of my education and the financial situation it put me in.
The flowershop has been a blessing this past year. We exceeded all of our expectations. It makes up for a lot.
Best wishes in 2010.
LastManOut
