My grandma always has a way of brightening things when I’m down. Here’s a few of them….
“If you fail, just try again.”
“Sometimes I think you take yourself a bit too seriously.”
She is prone to singing, “Gray skies gonna clear up, put on a happy face!”
With the tone of a former cheerleader she said, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”
“I think it is good to make changes when you are young.”
When being cut off by a car, “You, Jackass!” Later changed to “Jackrabbit,” when my little cousin repeated it.
Also prone to singing, “You have to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, and latch on the affirmative; don’t mess with mister in between.”
She usually calls me Joshua, accenting the “J.”
She once danced around at a campground in her bra screaming, “I’m a nerd, I’m a nerd, I’m a nerd.”
Grandma does not “fart” she has “frogs in her basement.” Grandpa tends to think it is a fog horn and not frogs.
If you have any wonderful things your Grama has said, please feel free to leave them in the comments.
LastManOut
Friday, October 27, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Internet Dating
Ok, I confess, I’m guilty as charged from dating on the internet. So are a lot of people, some absurd statistic of people use these services. In fact, at one point nearly two years ago before I met my boi, I was even somewhat of an on-line dating junkie. I had profiles on all sorts of sites, and I’m still getting update emails even when I think I cancelled all of them. I think the obsession stemmed from the fact that I really am a people person. I have always had an introspective quality to me, however, it has always been tempered by my personal experience of being surrounded by people. I find life to be entirely more enriching when you open up and make other people a part of it. So what better a service than on-line dating to be surrounded by other people with the ability to get to know them a lot better than you often would in person?
However, there were problems along the way. You end up going a lot of dates with absolute losers. There is a very good explanation for this as well. One of the main reasons is that a chunk of the “seeking” population does not have very good people skills and as such use on-line dating as a mask. There is also the chunk of people, who do not have very honorable intentions, play games, have depression, alcoholism, or are perhaps married or supposedly in a committed relationship, et cetera. One of the most difficult things to gage with on-line dating is what the other person’s true intentions are. You literally have to have a very good lie/missing information barometer in order to get the full picture before you determine whether or not this is a good or even safe person for you to meet in person. Unfortunately, being younger than I am now when I “dated” on-line, I can now clearly see where those errors in judgment were.
Values and etiquette, while perhaps different in some ways for on-line dating, should still be observed whenever seeking for a potential mate. The internet does not make something better just because it is now accessible in a billion different places. The same goes for people. I am not one qualified to criticize how you structure you sexual behavior and what type of relationship or experience you are looking for, however, no matter what your intentions, those should be made clearly so that you give the other person the right to decide if that is what is right for them. Behavior to the contrary is and should be considered sexual harassment.
You should always consider that there is going to be a flood of potentially unwanted behavior when you post your information on the internet. There is really nothing you can do about this other than discard it or use whatever reporting means there is. Just a personal comment to all the sick freaks that do this type of stuff, it’s not funny, sexy, or appropriate. You can bet that all of the creeps are going to come out of the closet on-line.
Speaking of coming out of the closet….. The internet can be one of the best places to do that for someone who is addressing their sexual orientation. This is for the major reason that the anonymity that the internet offers can be very freeing for someone who feels quite oppressed. Though, these people should be especially cautious.
The good of dating on line is that it opens up so many possibilities for communication that might not be possible otherwise. By overcoming scheduling, geographic problems, or locating minority populations so many people have really been able to expand their horizons.
On a personal note, my partner and I met on a very saucy website and we both just clicked and are a very happy committed couple. I realize that we are an exception in many ways to the typical on-line dating experience. When my boi emailed me those few times before we met, I really felt like he was being upfront with me. He’s been that way ever since, I expect that will always continue. I met the love of my life on-line. It wasn’t easy, but the good parts of on-line dating can really work for you with some discretion.
However, there were problems along the way. You end up going a lot of dates with absolute losers. There is a very good explanation for this as well. One of the main reasons is that a chunk of the “seeking” population does not have very good people skills and as such use on-line dating as a mask. There is also the chunk of people, who do not have very honorable intentions, play games, have depression, alcoholism, or are perhaps married or supposedly in a committed relationship, et cetera. One of the most difficult things to gage with on-line dating is what the other person’s true intentions are. You literally have to have a very good lie/missing information barometer in order to get the full picture before you determine whether or not this is a good or even safe person for you to meet in person. Unfortunately, being younger than I am now when I “dated” on-line, I can now clearly see where those errors in judgment were.
Values and etiquette, while perhaps different in some ways for on-line dating, should still be observed whenever seeking for a potential mate. The internet does not make something better just because it is now accessible in a billion different places. The same goes for people. I am not one qualified to criticize how you structure you sexual behavior and what type of relationship or experience you are looking for, however, no matter what your intentions, those should be made clearly so that you give the other person the right to decide if that is what is right for them. Behavior to the contrary is and should be considered sexual harassment.
You should always consider that there is going to be a flood of potentially unwanted behavior when you post your information on the internet. There is really nothing you can do about this other than discard it or use whatever reporting means there is. Just a personal comment to all the sick freaks that do this type of stuff, it’s not funny, sexy, or appropriate. You can bet that all of the creeps are going to come out of the closet on-line.
Speaking of coming out of the closet….. The internet can be one of the best places to do that for someone who is addressing their sexual orientation. This is for the major reason that the anonymity that the internet offers can be very freeing for someone who feels quite oppressed. Though, these people should be especially cautious.
The good of dating on line is that it opens up so many possibilities for communication that might not be possible otherwise. By overcoming scheduling, geographic problems, or locating minority populations so many people have really been able to expand their horizons.
On a personal note, my partner and I met on a very saucy website and we both just clicked and are a very happy committed couple. I realize that we are an exception in many ways to the typical on-line dating experience. When my boi emailed me those few times before we met, I really felt like he was being upfront with me. He’s been that way ever since, I expect that will always continue. I met the love of my life on-line. It wasn’t easy, but the good parts of on-line dating can really work for you with some discretion.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Female Friends of Gay Men
A friend of mine and I had a conversation last night about the age old term "Faghag." Well one is probably wondering what exactly is a faghag. So I did some research. According to The Cambrige On-line Dictionary a faghag is, "a woman who likes to spend time with homosexual men." On the surface it seems that a faghag is really not such a bag thing.
Many people both possible faghags and gay men alike take offense to the term and prefer to refer to female friends of gay men as something else. Why is it potentially offensive? Well, in sort of a traditional sense the gay community has recognized in a strict sense that a faghag is more of a woman who very actively seeks out gay men as close companions and is often in love with them romantically. It is not difficult to imagine that a woman of this sort does not command the same respect as a woman who happens to have friends that are gay men and positively affirms their sexual orientation. In most cases female freinds of gay men fall into one of the two interpretations discussed above. The line however is quite fine.
So what is the etiquette with the word faghag? The precise answer is currently unknown. However I can offer this guideline. There are a variety of women who are a "Self Proclaimed Faghag," such as Margaret Cho. Margaret Cho, a comedian, has on video proclaimed herself as a faghag. In this instance it is appropriate to refer to her as a faghag. However, in all other cases discrestion should be used.
Now onto the substitution to the word faghag. I personally do not endorse the use of the word fruitfly to describe these females because it is mostly absurd. Some like to think of it as a more polite way of refering to a faghag, but in my opinion, if it is true, call it for what it is.
So now for alternatives that matter. Since many of my female friends are just that, female friends, I prefer to call them my girlfriends. I think that this is possibly the most healthy way to term the relationship.
Gay men owe their "hags" a lot because truly they have been there through it all for them. So truthfully, there are girlfriends of mine who I do call faghags because that is simply what they are. Hag, Girlfriend, Fruitfly, what-have-you, These will always be the most important women in our lives. And we (the gays) as a community should applaud you for being some of the most loving and accepting people on the planet.
Yours truly,
LastManOut
Many people both possible faghags and gay men alike take offense to the term and prefer to refer to female friends of gay men as something else. Why is it potentially offensive? Well, in sort of a traditional sense the gay community has recognized in a strict sense that a faghag is more of a woman who very actively seeks out gay men as close companions and is often in love with them romantically. It is not difficult to imagine that a woman of this sort does not command the same respect as a woman who happens to have friends that are gay men and positively affirms their sexual orientation. In most cases female freinds of gay men fall into one of the two interpretations discussed above. The line however is quite fine.
So what is the etiquette with the word faghag? The precise answer is currently unknown. However I can offer this guideline. There are a variety of women who are a "Self Proclaimed Faghag," such as Margaret Cho. Margaret Cho, a comedian, has on video proclaimed herself as a faghag. In this instance it is appropriate to refer to her as a faghag. However, in all other cases discrestion should be used.
Now onto the substitution to the word faghag. I personally do not endorse the use of the word fruitfly to describe these females because it is mostly absurd. Some like to think of it as a more polite way of refering to a faghag, but in my opinion, if it is true, call it for what it is.
So now for alternatives that matter. Since many of my female friends are just that, female friends, I prefer to call them my girlfriends. I think that this is possibly the most healthy way to term the relationship.
Gay men owe their "hags" a lot because truly they have been there through it all for them. So truthfully, there are girlfriends of mine who I do call faghags because that is simply what they are. Hag, Girlfriend, Fruitfly, what-have-you, These will always be the most important women in our lives. And we (the gays) as a community should applaud you for being some of the most loving and accepting people on the planet.
Yours truly,
LastManOut
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
First Week On The Job
I am now a representative for Medicare Part D. I have finished all my training and Monday was my first day on the floor. I guess it is always a humble reminder that there is really very little that we actually know. The distinction between knowing and believing has been become clear this week. There has been this gradual transition from converting things I believe to be true to confirmed knowledge. I guess, for me, there is always this need to confirm something the first time I use it. Call me overly cautious, however, I feel it gives me the confidence and piece of mind to reassure the other person. I have always appreciated it when people take the time to really explain things to me.
Taking the time to be clear and explain things has become and especially important as I attempt to explain the Medicare Part D policy to people. I've noticed that explaining an insurance plan to people is not entirely different than my former job of explaining accounts as a banker. I find it especially difficult to take all this new information and make concise answers out it. Though, with some pratice it has been getting better.
We had sensitivity training today which clued us in to what it is like for people with disabilities and the trials that many face accomplishing basic tasks. These types of training always mean a lot to me because I forget a lot of the time what it must be like to have to face things like arthritis, vision problems, and hearing loss to name a few. I guess the point of it all is that we just need to listen to people and help them as an individual.
Taking the time to be clear and explain things has become and especially important as I attempt to explain the Medicare Part D policy to people. I've noticed that explaining an insurance plan to people is not entirely different than my former job of explaining accounts as a banker. I find it especially difficult to take all this new information and make concise answers out it. Though, with some pratice it has been getting better.
We had sensitivity training today which clued us in to what it is like for people with disabilities and the trials that many face accomplishing basic tasks. These types of training always mean a lot to me because I forget a lot of the time what it must be like to have to face things like arthritis, vision problems, and hearing loss to name a few. I guess the point of it all is that we just need to listen to people and help them as an individual.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Brokeback Bar
A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. But what the heck, he says to himself, "I can really use a drink."
When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's the name of your weewee?" The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that, all I want is a drink." The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your weewee. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It,' and that guy down at the end of the bar calls his, Snickers, because it really 'Satisfies.'"
The cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?"
The man looks back and says with a smile "Timex," and the thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!"
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fellas on his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you guys call yours?"
The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because Quality is Job One." Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?" The guy nex t to him then says, "I call mine CHEVY, 'Like A Rock.'" and gives a wink.
Even more shaken the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name. He exclaims, "The name of my weewee is 'SECRET.' Now give me a beer." The bartender begins to pour the Cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asked, "Why Secret?"
The cowboy says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN."
When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's the name of your weewee?" The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that, all I want is a drink." The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your weewee. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It,' and that guy down at the end of the bar calls his, Snickers, because it really 'Satisfies.'"
The cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?"
The man looks back and says with a smile "Timex," and the thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!"
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fellas on his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you guys call yours?"
The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because Quality is Job One." Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?" The guy nex t to him then says, "I call mine CHEVY, 'Like A Rock.'" and gives a wink.
Even more shaken the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name. He exclaims, "The name of my weewee is 'SECRET.' Now give me a beer." The bartender begins to pour the Cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asked, "Why Secret?"
The cowboy says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN."
Monday, October 09, 2006
Nursing Home Joke
An 82 year old woman and a 96 year old man at a nursing home met each other in the dining room one afternoon. They talked all afternoon and soon became very good friends. They continued to talk every afternoon and one day the topic of sex came up in their conversation. The woman commented that she probably can't do much for the man anymore. The man said, yes, that probably doesn't work like it used to, but he said you could still hold it. So, the woman would hold it for him every afternoon. One afternoon the man didn't show up and the woman was very concerned, so she went up to his room to find him. She walked in the room and there was another woman sitting there holding it for him. The woman yelled, "You two-timing asshole, What does she have that I don't." The man replied, "Parkinson's."
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