Female Friends of Gay Men

A friend of mine and I had a conversation last night about the age old term "Faghag." Well one is probably wondering what exactly is a faghag. So I did some research. According to The Cambrige On-line Dictionary a faghag is, "a woman who likes to spend time with homosexual men." On the surface it seems that a faghag is really not such a bag thing.

Many people both possible faghags and gay men alike take offense to the term and prefer to refer to female friends of gay men as something else. Why is it potentially offensive? Well, in sort of a traditional sense the gay community has recognized in a strict sense that a faghag is more of a woman who very actively seeks out gay men as close companions and is often in love with them romantically. It is not difficult to imagine that a woman of this sort does not command the same respect as a woman who happens to have friends that are gay men and positively affirms their sexual orientation. In most cases female freinds of gay men fall into one of the two interpretations discussed above. The line however is quite fine.

So what is the etiquette with the word faghag? The precise answer is currently unknown. However I can offer this guideline. There are a variety of women who are a "Self Proclaimed Faghag," such as Margaret Cho. Margaret Cho, a comedian, has on video proclaimed herself as a faghag. In this instance it is appropriate to refer to her as a faghag. However, in all other cases discrestion should be used.

Now onto the substitution to the word faghag. I personally do not endorse the use of the word fruitfly to describe these females because it is mostly absurd. Some like to think of it as a more polite way of refering to a faghag, but in my opinion, if it is true, call it for what it is.

So now for alternatives that matter. Since many of my female friends are just that, female friends, I prefer to call them my girlfriends. I think that this is possibly the most healthy way to term the relationship.

Gay men owe their "hags" a lot because truly they have been there through it all for them. So truthfully, there are girlfriends of mine who I do call faghags because that is simply what they are. Hag, Girlfriend, Fruitfly, what-have-you, These will always be the most important women in our lives. And we (the gays) as a community should applaud you for being some of the most loving and accepting people on the planet.

Yours truly,

LastManOut