I have written two notable blog entries one titled Relationship Road Blocks and the other Why We Should do Things Different. The first describes how effective communication, self evaluation, and patience can solve many “road blocks” in relationships. The second merely consists of the following phrase: "Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting change, is the very definition of insanity." I am also adding the following phrase, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”
Change is the hardest thing for anyone to do, no matter who you are. You will always cling to the way things are and the past because these are the things you know and you are comfortable with. However, what you currently know and the things that you are comfortable with are so very often HARMFUL to you and others. Therefore, decisive action is needed. If something is harmful to you it is not hard for others around you to notice this. In fact, the people that care about you the most will rightly tell you about it to your face. It would be wise to pay attention as well as accept any assistance they might offer you to solve your problem.
How do you know when you’re in a situation like a relationship, job, friendship, business venture, etc. that is not working and is not going to? Anytime that the same problem keeps repeating multiple times and the proposed resolutions have not been followed, there is direct evidence that change is not going to happen. Furthermore, the current set of events will continue to happen and will continue to be more and more harmful. For example, if your significant other promises to do something, and even after multiple changes does not do it, you have but two realistic options. 1) Accept that change is not possible in the foreseeable future or 2) that you need to extradite your self from the situation and take appropriate recourse. Deciding what you will accept should be something that is a minor and relatively unimportant concession. For example, you may have to live with the fact that someone always arrives late or always leaves the kitchen a mess. These are issues involving character not trust, and as such, are not generally related to a promise that the person has made. However, if a promise has been consistently over and over again, and it is broken, the issue becomes a trust issue.
Trust, as we all know, is very important. If you cannot be trusted, you will be penalized for your actions or lack of action. If you cannot be trusted your spouse will leave you, your boss will fire you, your friends will not call you, and your customers will not come back. Everything we do is built on trust. If you continue to trust someone when all the facts of the matter clearly point to something else, and you do nothing, you will end up hurting yourself and others.
Healing from these injuries relating to mistrust, which could realistically be physical, emotional, and monetary, will take an unforeseen amount of time and resources out of your life, if not cost you your life. You owe it to yourself and everyone who loves you to remove yourself from a situation which is clearly harmful. You can’t do it for the kids, or your current customer’s, or even the money either. If it is harming you, it must stop. You are only lying to yourself if you think otherwise. In the end it will hurt these other people just as much. Time in situations of mistrust, malfeasance, and general wrong doing is of the greatest importance.
Eventually, if you do not take action to change your own life, others will take it for you. There is nothing that is worth loosing your freedom over. If you do not have your freedom, you do not have the ability to make a positive change in your life and the lives of others. People without freedom are slaves to their masters. Believe in yourself and the talents you’ve been given. Make a change today; take a leap of faith. It might be the only thing that can save you. If it just isn’t working, it’s not going to.
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