Back to School

I’m not thrilled about Monday. Monday I start the second last class of my college career. I have yet to finish my bachelor’s degree in Political Science. This is a burden that I have carried with me for quite some time. It’s an issue that I have been working towards addressing since I left. It’s only a 4 week accelerated course. It really shouldn’t seem like a big deal, especially because I’m been working so hard at the flower shop anyhow, but I’m really nervous about the whole thing. I haven’t taken a course in a long time. I’ve had quite a bit of training, that’s true, but this is a very different endeavor from that. I feel like I’m trying to force myself to go into this with a positive attitude so that I’m able to really do well in this class. It would be very nice after all to actually do well. However, like clockwork I have a pit of dread in my stomach. I feel despondent. I’m not happy. The “why” for these feeling is no longer important to me. I don’t even care anymore about how I used to feel about certain things. I just want them to go away. And like a double-edged sword, these feelings will not leave me until I’m done. I’m left with these feelings, while putting on a bright exterior. I suppose only two months of it will not be too much to endure.