Happy Birthday Steevie!

As many of you know today (March 20th) is the birthday of the nearest and dearest person in my life. He turned 24. I wanted to recount some of the memories over the last four years. Jerad and I met when he was 20 and one has to wonder where all the time has gone that we are celebrating birthday #4.

Ok, So let's fess up a little ... How did Jerad and Josh really meet? It has been perhaps a contentious item of speculation among many. Truthfully, Jerad and I met online, and not on some warm fuzzy place like Match.com or Eharmony. It was more like the back alley behind a gay bar ... only digital. We emailed for a couple weeks, almost lost touch because Jerad was without the Internet for a couple weeks. But then, He sent me a message not long after New Year, 2005, We hung out one night at my place (Jan 8th the boys "anniversary") and hit it off by "watching a movie."

It was not long after our meeting that Jerad extended the invitation for me to sleep over at his place, which I was more nervous than he knows because he lived with his mother. It was winter and I was living on Michigan St, De Pere, the trappings of independence at my old place were well tempered by a lack of heat. Before long I was more or less living with Jerad and his mom and Mark (her BF) stayed over quite a bit as well. I'll never forget that Jerad was not out when we first met, and came out to his mom after I made him promise to tell the truth the next time she brought it up. The many many conversations that my mother-in-law and I had regarding the gays stemmed from the new revelations during this time. It was truly an educational time for all, Jerad really discovered and opened up to who he is and in new ways, so did I.

Neither Jerad or I will forget the moment that I accredit to us seeing the need for our own place. Mama, bless her, was not shy that the boys slept together. In fact Jerad and I were naked as jay birds under the sheets when she climbed up on the bed between us. I don't recall what we talked about specifically, only thinking that I hope neither of us tent the sheets.

Running along throughout Jerad's formative gay years is our relationship with St. Anne's Episcopal that continues to evolve to this day. I credit a large portion of the success of our relationship due to the support from our Church family. Without our good friends that we have made along the way, I'm not sure that we would have the strength and skills to make it long term. The couple that prays together .... Stays together. There's a lot to be said for a spiritual connection as well and a community connection with a shared faith and passion. I'll always have Lynn to thank for being the organist at St Anne's, and funny enough for breaking her wrist (the first time around), for bringing be back to St. Anne's. I took Jerad along with me, hehe.

Jerad and I moved a bit in the first couple years. First from my place and his mom's to our apartment, and then 11 months later we moved into our house. The moving did no really stop when we got our house because our families are still finding things to have us move to our place. And, Jerad's Dad's basement ... well that was a household and a half.

Jerad and I have had two business endeavors develop since we met. It was not long after we met that we launched his landscaping business. Everyone was very excited to see him grow into this new role. Also May 1, 2007, Jerad and I opened the doors of Buds 'n Bloom Design Studio, http://www.budsnbloomdesignstudio.com/. Living, Loving, and Working with someone is an experience that not all couples are able to accomplish. One of the unique things about Jerad and I is our ability to work together as a team. The things that we have accomplished could not have been done by either of alone at this point in our life.

Well, Sweetie, I hope you've enjoyed this trip down memory lane. I know I have. And even though we face many new challenges and tests this year, I have faith that we will pull through and be better for it. I know you'll do your best yet this next year.

Happy Birthday Steevie,

LastManOut
(Joshy to You)

Logic Quiz

Questions:

1. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
2. If you have only one match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which one would you light first?
3. How far can a dog run into the woods?
4. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last?
5. Why do you always find something in the last place you look?
6. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. Explain this.
7. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks by. What color is the bear? Why?
8. What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, and the end of every race?
9. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
10. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents; the woman is the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. How come?

Answers:

1. 2
2. The match
3. Halfway
4. 1 hour (Other exceptable answer: not long enough.)
5. You would not continue searching other places after you found the item, therefore finding it in the last place you look.
6. The men were not playing together or The men played a total of 10 games against each other and each won 5.
7. The bear is white, a polar bear. The house in on the North Pole.
8. The letter "E"
9. 70
10. The begger is the woman's sister.

The Bishop

A new Bishop came to town and after he was settled in he decided to go visit a church downtown. So the Bishop started out on his walk downtown and out from the side street a hooker jumps out and says, "Hey Father, how about a blow job, $25." The Bishop is dumbfounded and just keeps walking. As he gets downtown another hooker jumps out at him and says, "Hey Father, how bout a quickie, only $15." The Bishop is not sure what is being offered and politely refuses; he decides it is time to return home. When the Bishop returns to the rectory Sister Mary is sweeping the steps, he stops her and asks, "Sister ... ah ... what is a quickie?" Sister Mary replies, "$15, Same as downtown."

Stress

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, Raised a glass of water and asked "How heavy is this glass of water?"Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, As the burden becomes increasingly heavy, We won't be able to carry on. " "As with the glass of water, You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, Let them down for a moment if you can. "So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while. Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon,And some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet,Just in case you have to eat them.
* Always read stuff that will make you look goodIf you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can beRecalled by their maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, It was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to others.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, Because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, You're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world, But you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today... I did.

Things only a whore would say...

- If you can't have a happy home, wreck one.

- Because I can.

- I prefer thinner.

- Better now than never.

- I don't do windows.

Tuesday's Primaries

I dreaded voting yesterday, and a great deal of me was torn over who to vote for, for President. I have not ever felt compelled to vote in the primaries for anything before this, mostly because it never seemed important. Well after 8 years of Bushisms, Iraq, and WMA's...let's say I care. Of coarse for Democrats, like me, it comes down to 2 choices, Clinton or Obama. They are both strong candidates and they offer real choice to a degree. And if they both would hunt down John McCain with the ferocity that they are battling each other, then I would say they would both be fabulous Presidents. Maybe, they will really end up working for the good of all and the runner up take V.P. That's probably a pipe dream though.

So I voted for Obama for several really good reasons. Now, Y'all know I love my Hill's, but I just not convinced that she is the one to lead the Democratic Party into the 21st Century. I really want to believe that because Obama is younger, that he is trying to distance the lobbyists, and most significantly that he hasn't been associated with the White House before that he is the candidate to win the election in November.

I think once Clinton is history, his campaign will steam roll over McCain, because he will appeal to younger voters in a way that McCain just can't. You know the Republicans are on the mortality tables when they're putting up an old guy like McCain.

I also voted for Obama because he is from the Midwest and it's about time we have a real Midwesterner as President. I'm sick and tired of these people from down south running our country. Yeah, so Bill and George turned their crappy ass states around as governors, that doesn't mean they are the answer for a nation that needs real leadership, not a band aid. The Midwest is one of the hardest working areas of our country, and I really think we get overlooked in policy decisions. So yes, It's about time we get one of our own in there. Hillary might say she grew up in Chicago, but we all know where her heart really lies.

LastManOut

It's a good thing...

Here's a few things in to keep in mind that I've learned along the way:

Every room needs a little bit of red in it. Even if it's only something very small.

Nice is different than Good.

"It's not mean if it's true." - Michael Thomas Ford

Hard work is not required; but smart work is.

Ambition without purpose is dangerous.

Everyone deserves to have a good day, everyday.

A smile goes a lot farther than a frown.

In the real world, you really are graded on the end result, effort doesn't count for much.

There really is someone for everyone out there.

Remembering Betty Rose Meyer

Saturday, January 19th, 2008, 11:00 a.m., I had the honor of being chosen to sing at funeral of Betty Meyer, who had recently passed away. She was just shy of 95. Betty had requested a baritone to sing the show tunes that she had selected to be sung at her funeral. Our Choir director called me because she knew I would be just the one to do it. The music selections were all in all quite, "unforgetable." Betty had chosen as a reflection the song "I believe," for the Offertory "You'll Never Walk Alone" from Carousel, and as a recessional, "Unforgettable," by Irving Gordon.

I have to say that since the funeral I have not been able to get the melody and words from "Unforgettable" out of my head. I think it has even been tormenting me in my sleep. Betty, I have you to blame. Truy, Betty, "Never before has someone been more.....Unforgetable...." The real clincher is that she was wheeled out of church to this song. You can imagine the image that comes to me. It's true, I'll never forget it as long as I live.

However, the other music selections seem to give a little more insight into the person that her family and friends knew so well. Three very different, and very insightful reflections were given by Steve Swan, UWGB, Mary Jane Herber, Friend, and Robert Meyer, Nephew.

Steve Swan spoke about Betty's generosity to the community, most notably the scholarship funds that she helped establish at UWGB. What touched me inside about this gift she gave was that she had said that she wanted the scholarships to go to regular students; people who maybe didn't have the highest grades, but had to work hard. She wanted them to go to people who exihbited leadership in their communities. That's a very profound observation Betty made; support the people who keep it all going in everyday life.

Mary Jane Herber told us very much about Betty as a person. She told the story of how at a dinner party she was introduced as being a bit "peppery." We were told how Betty was a very direct person who wasn't afraid to speak her mind. Mary Jane Herber told us about Betty's humility and that while she generously supported almost every major project in Green Bay, she really didn't want the recognition for it.

Finally Robert Meyer, nephew, spoke on Betty's behalf. I don't recall how exactly it was worked in, but I did appreciate that Robert stated that she was "one classy broad." You got a huge sense of Betty's love for her family and her hospitality from Robert. Robert let us know that his "Milwaukee" side of the family was always received with openness and warmness whenever they would visit Green Bay. Also, He told a cheeky story that, as he accepted his Aunt's invitation to stay over in Green Bay when he was on business, she offered him her bed. He was elated of coarse because hers was much more confortable than the other option. Only to find, that along with her bed came her husband, who snored like a locomotive.

So really Betty, I have to hand it to you, I've been to a lot of funerals, and yours was quite...Unforgetable...

Yours Truly,

LastManOut

Read more about Betty Rose Meyer at:



http://www.uwgb.edu/univcomm/news/logarchive/logarchive39/2008jan15.htm



http://www.meyertheatre.org/about/index.html

Almost There

I go through these phases in life where I pretty much live the current day just to make it through to a not so distant event in the future. I'm experiencing that in like overdrive this year. There is the day by day count off to Christmas. Then there is the day by day count off to our vacation; Jerad and I are flying out to Steamboat, Co on Dec 26th. Then there is the count down to the end of Open Enrollment for Medicare Part D, in which I work. We are also counting down to New Year. The fact that I'm missing the end of open enrollment at my job and getting away from the Flower Shop at the same time is seriously unusual.

I first noticed this phase the week of our Christmas party, Dec 8th. I was busy trying to get the carpet replaced in our house, cleaning, and prepping for the big event. I remember saying to myself, I leave for vacation in three weeks, I just have to make it through this. Things just started to spiral downward from there.

Yesterday Lynn, my former voice teacher, now friend, got in a car accident and underwent surgery at St. Vincent. So, I'm filling in at church for Christmas Masses for Organ. It hit me today that It's just another thing that I'm just "trying to get through."

I find it really challenging to feel like it's Christmas. I mean I haven't had a stitch of time to reflect about anything. I know you're supposed to "live in the moment," but seriously, living in the moment is for people who do not have anything better to do. Christmas is increasingly meaning, just another thing. I honestly feel like this just gets worse every year. I'm hardly going to see my family, I have to cover all the bases in one day this year. I just feel like everyone around me deserves better.

My Pie Crust

I'm sharing it, so y'all better give me credit...

Pie Crust
(Especially for people who can't make pie crust!)

Ingredients:

3 c. flour
1 tsp. salt
1 c. shortening
1 beaten egg
8 T. water (1/2 c.)
1 T. lemon juice (vinegar can be substituted)

Cream together flour, salt, and shortening. Mix together in another dish the beaten egg, water, and lemon juice. Add liquids to flour and shortening. Mix with fingers or pastry blender. Makes roughly 2 double crust pies.

Mom’s Stuffing

1 Package Sage & Onion Bread Crumbs
1 Tube of Pork Sausage
1lb of ground chicken or turkey
1 large apple – finely diced
1 onion – diced
3-4 stalks of celery – finely diced
1 can of cream of mushroom soup
1 can of cream of chicken soup
1 egg
Season with garlic and herbs, salt & black pepper

Mix stuff together with hands in a large bowl. Patt into oven safe dish. Bake 1 – 1½ hours at 350F. Internal temp for stuffing should be about 165 degrees when fully cooked.

I've been busy

I know it's been forever since I've written a blog, but really It's not my fault. I'm not one of those people who likes to dwell on how busy I'm been or how hard I work. For me, even though those things are usually true, I don't like to focus on them like they're the only important things in my life. It's really hard to remember that you are still a multi-dimensional person even when your daily activities are in a unidirectional mode. Question: how do you avoid becoming a broken record of a chatter box when life is the same old?

For starters try to personalize your life experience. It's not too much to take that standardized, boring old situation at work, school, church, etc and make it your own. Tack up your personal photos and flare and really move in. Maybe you'll freshen things up by just expressing how you feel about something. You might in turn actually start talking with people and figure out how to make it better.

Also, make the experiences you have on a daily basis special by emphasizing what it is that makes that thing important. Mundane things are really not mundane at all, it's just our attitude towards them and how we approach it. Keeping the pep in things requires some creativity. My mom always made doing dishes better by having me help her. And she was right; it was one of the few times we really got to talk and spend time together. Plus we got a lot of work done and somehow something as mundane as dishes became a ritual, special in its own way.

Take care of yourself, you're special to a lot of people out there.

LastManOut

Sorry, I was the last one out.

So I completely forgot about National Comming Out Day. It was like two days ago and even though I had notice before hand that it was comming, it obviously didn't make waves with me.

National Comming Out Day is sort of like the gay Christmas. It's not how many people you tell on that day, but really how you live your life all year long. It's like you can have the spirit of Christmas for 24 hours, or you can spread Christ's love all year long. So, It's like this, love one another, accept people for who they are, and most importantly be honest with yourself. Love yourself, I'm sure your a more beautiful person than you really know.

Happy Pride, All Year Long!

LastManOut

Never Mind Me

I'm stressing lately for over many things. I feel like we are moving in that inevitable direction in which relationships are just getting to the point that things are going to change without anyone even really noticing. New things are emerging, such as the addition of Doris to the family, and some old things seem to have faded. I'm never really satisfied. This is the downside to having ambition. When you want things to continuously be better, you pay the price of never really being satisfied in the present. Looking to the future is some people's specialy. I suppose I've been peering into the crystal ball a little bit more lately. As always I see love in someone's future, the loss of it for someone else. I see magnificent things happening in the month of November. I see October as a time of atonement, best be on your guard for gobblins! I'm worried that things will not come out smoothly as we enter the New Year.

The planets are bitch slapping one another and Jupiter thinks Saturn's a Queen. What more can I say?

I'm starting to wear in my age.

Tree Joke

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker , you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

The Nationality of Jesus

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went in to His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a WOMAN:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was work to do.

The Wizard of Oz

Four United States Presidents get caught up in a tornado and off they whirled to the land of OZ. They finally made it to the Emerald City and went to find the Great Wizard.

"What brings the 4 of you before the great Wizard of Oz?"

Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly and said:
"I've come for some courage."
"No Problem!" said the Wiz! ard. "Who' s next?"

Richard Nixon stepped forward,
"Well, I think I need a heart."
"Done!" says the Wizard.

Who comes next before the Great and Powerful Oz?
Up stepped Bush and said,
"Well, I'm told by some people that I need a brain."
"No problem," said the Wizard. "Consider it done."

Then there is a great silence in the hall.
Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but he doesn't say a word.
Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, "Well, what do you want?"

"IS DOROTHY HERE?"

Abstinence

A young couple wanted to join the church, the pastor told them, "We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month." The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed.

"You are back so soon... Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired. We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month." the young man replied sadly. The pastor asked him what happened. "Well, the first week was difficult... However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower." "The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain." "However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible...anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts."

"One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat." admitted the man, shamefacedly. The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, "You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church." "We know." said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome at Home Depot either."

I Confess, Your Attitude Sucks.

This blog entry is in response to an article publised in Time Magazine, July 30th, 2007, Pg 60. It is also available at, http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1645160,00.html

The article disscussing one Catholic's opinion with respect to the lifting of restrictions on Mass in Latin by the Pope.

The following is what I sent to the editor.

Dear Editor,

I would find an article discussing the merits of English over Latin in Mass much more interesting if the premise was not, "I don't like what I hear in English." Reading this article, I see it for what it is. Here is a person unhappy with the Catholic Church's teachings and would like nothing more than to escape back into a time when those in the pew had no clue.

The allure of Mass is not in the language that it is spoken, but of the celebration itself. It says very little about the Christian faith to attend worship out of "habit and guilt." Worshiping together as a community, as a body of believers with a common voice, celebrating the Eucharist together, is much more powerful than the "allure" of a dead language.

The most important point is that you'll never understand your faith if you just ride along through mass and not make any attempt to understand what is being said and what is going on. The lack of understanding is still what is inherently wrong with the Catholic Church today and it is a direct result of having the Mass in Latin for so many centuries. The fact that Cullen can understand what is going on in English and disagree with it should be celebrated, not condemned. The common language of the people should remain because it is their faith that makes the Church more of a community than an institution.

Medicare Advice

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,

"Hello."

"Mrs. Ward, please."

"Speaking"

"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly, the results are either bad or terrible."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's, and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's."

"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" asked Mrs.Ward.

"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."